There is something to be said about unemployment when your actively seeking employment. The feeling of being disregarded, an outsider of every day activities. You do not feel a part of the group. Your not privy to the conversations. You are but an observer, αn outsider, an outcast.
I have never dreaded mondays, like I do now, the angst, the foreboding, the utter nothingness that is applying for jobs. You really feel deep down that no cares. And how can they?
They have there own life’s, with there own worries why would they take time to help you. Only you can help yourself. You need to chase down recruiters, see the people and put yourself in those ever awkward positions.
The weirdest thing is the knowledge that I will not see time like this again, I mean free time. But I it’s ironic, because it’s time I cannot enjoy. Time is only valuable if it’s limited. Unlimited time is useless because nothing is more urgent then finding that job. And that job haunts me. Every day I see it and it’s only that I can do.
I force myself to gym, to cook, to read and to see people. It is so much easier to refresh job postings and play it out from there. But I force my self because only darkness awaits if I don’t.
So onward and upward until I get that job I do not want and then I can be truly unhappy.
Stranger in Sydney 