Did you ever think of the difference of doing something and actually doing something?
Or more specifically trying and actually trying?
I have just been trying but not really actually trying.
I try up to the point where I notice other people see me trying and then I pull back because I have their approval that I tried.
The other day I was in the gym and not really pushing myself that hard. Someone walked past and I caught myself heavily exhaling and inhaling, as if I was tired from pushing myself. Strange.
Why did I do this?
How long have I been doing it?
And in what other parts of my life have I been essentially faking in front of other people?
I know it’s not healthy and leads to a fake gratification.
Which means I could be doing allot more if I didn’t fake trying but actually tried.
I noticed a while back that when I closed my eyes in yoga I strained my face less yet pushed myself further.
Maybe it’s time I close my eyes in other areas as well.
Stranger in Sydney 