Closing Your Eyes on the Demon

I was 12 maybe 11

I was at Wonderland (a theme park), a end of year school trip

I was just tall enough to get on the biggest baddest roller coaster in the land

The demon

Single train, we were arranged 2 across for maybe 30 rows back

I was brave, sat at the front

Now this roller coaster starts by being pulled backward up a ramp, imagine drawing an arrow back

You can feel the tension increase every time the chain clicked

Click, click, click

I was looking down at the scariest thing I had seen

I had that hard heart beast in my chest

I was looking left

Looking right

Locked in I was not going anywhere

The tension was rising

At any second the train would be released and we would be sent hurtling through 3 loops at 80km per hour

It was getting too much

I didn’t want to scream, can not be scared now.

So I closed my eyes. Shut tight.

You can’t be scared of what you can’t see.

I opened them probably halfway through the ride but by then it was too late

The damage was done

You see the whole point of riding the demon was to prove that you are brave enough, you are not scared.  To your friends but more importantly to yourself. But you see I faked it. Closing my eyes was akin to backing out, better be the coward then the faker.

I closed my eyes

I cheated myself

I didn’t really experience the ride the same way other people did

I did not feel the fear the same way I would have felt

I did not see the world blast past.

I did not look the demon in the eye and stare it down.

I hanged on and hoped for the best.

Why am I saying all this?

When you ride the demon, you need to take it all in and see how far you can go.

Like a shot of tequila, there is only way to know how many you can take. One tequila, two tequila, there tequila, floor.

Look the demon in the eye

Take in all you can and you are guaranteed to find out more about yourself.

Better or worse

Know thy self is rule number one