Living In My Head

I spend so much time here, in the space between my ears, the fantasy world that is in between head

In there I have lived out all my dreams, I have been a super successful person and reached all my goals

Not only personal goals but goals I have for other people, all achieved.

I look at houses and pick the few I like and then go on to imagine how it would look, what changes I would make to it, a bedroom here, a cellar there and an extension for my boys room.

It goes deeper then that. While I am watching sport, I will be living my own dream as an athelete picturing in great detail how I would play, respond to the press conference ad I even picture myself launching my own fashion line, KoolerKicks.

I spend very little time in the present, I live in my fears and dreams, in my worries and fantasies and in my nightmares and imagined glories. This is where I reside.

Nothing happens there. Ever.

I put my energy into nothing, into the abyss

How can I good to my wife in my thoughts? Do useful and rewarding things?

I am not here when I hear “I love you” from the one I love the most

I am not present when I see things special things

Always on the next thing, the next big idea.

But there is no next thing, only this thing, this bloody thing in front of me.

This is where I need to be

Now small steps, I will not go from a head case to zen in a matter of days but I can take small steps.

So the first thing is to notice the distractions, so more prayer and meditation. This helps me escape my head and be more aware/mindful

The next thing is when it happens is to limit it, focus on my breath and meditate, so I can pull myself back into the now, ie the present

The final thing is to limit the noise (internet, distraction, dopamine hunting), none before or after work, focus on one thing at a time, improving the quality of life

I want the result to look like these three things below

1. Better moments with my loved ones
2. Doing more things I enjoy and not things I do not enjoy
3. More money and freedom to enable the first two

But theses 3 thing will not happen in my head

Not in the futre or past, but today in doing each task well

By starting new tasks or mission, rather then a new TV series

This is how these things will happen