Accepting

For the past three months I have tried to stop looking at my phone after 7:30pm

For three months I have failed

Every time I go to turn it off something always draws me back

I know quitting my phone after dark alone will improve the quality of my life more then anything else at the moment

However still each and every night my phone is in my hand and I am a consumer

A consumer of

Youtube

Twitter

Instagram

And genral news websites

Even when I am at work it affects me

Breaks my line of thinking

As I get older my will is weaker

My habits are taking over

Auto pilot

Junk food

Porn

And my phone

Now you say “why don’t you just turn the phone off?”

So simple

But I find that when I take such extreme measures it swings back at me twice as hard

“What you resist, persists, what you accept, transforms you”

This is the crux of it, I need to accept myself as an addict

An addict to these different distractions and act accordingly

I need to reduce exposure

To breathe

Focus moment to moment

And be more self aware

“What you resist, persists, what you accept, transforms you.”

So I accept I am an addict to my phone and all things of the internet

I accept I need to limit my exposure so I can ween myself off these addictions

I accept that cold turkey solutions normally make the problems worse

I accept that my willpower alone is not enough

I accept I need to do something better with my time

Better

“Every day in every way I get better and better”

Most of all I accept myself the way I am, I accept myself with love as I accept the world, with love and patience