Psycho-Cybernetics. By Maxwell Maltz

Synopsis: The most important thing is the image we have of ourselves and its important we cultivate the best image possible.  All our actions will follow to align with that image so we must work to have the best image possible.

Key Takeaways

Page 1

• The self-image each of us carries about with us is a mental blueprint/picture of ourselves
• This self-image is our own conception of the “sort of person I am”
• We do not question its validity but proceed to act upon it just as if it were true
• All your actions, feelings behaviour – even your abilities – are always consistent with this self-image
• The self-image can be changed

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• Ideas which are inconsistent with the system are rejected, “not believed” and not acted upon. Ideas which seem to be consistent with the system are accepted

Page 5

• Instead of saying “I failed the test” they conclude “I am a failure”

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• To rreally “live” that is to find life reasonably satisfying, you must have an adequate and realistic self image that you can live with
• Your self-image must be a reasonable approximation of “you”, being neither more than you are, nor less than you are

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• To the degree that we deny the gift of life, we embrace death
• The so-called “subconscious mind” is not a “mind” at all, but a mechanism – a goal striving “servo-mechanism” consisting of the brain and nervous system, which is used by and directed by the mind
• Like any other servo-mechanism, it must have a clear cut goal, objective or “problem” to work upon
• The goals that our own Creative Mechanism seeks to achieve are MENTAL IMAGES, or mental pictures which we create by the use of IMAGINATION
• It prescribes the area of possible

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• The method itself consists in learning, practicing, and experiencing, new habits of thinking, imagining, remembering and acting in order to (1) develop an adequate and realistic Self-Image and (2) use your creative Mechanism to bring success and happiness in achieving particular goals

Page 16

• To “live” encompasses more than physical survival and procreation of the species. It requires certain emotional and spiritual satisfactions as well.
• Man too has a success instinct, much more marvelous and much more complex than that of any animal
• Man, on the other hand has something animals haven’t – creative imagination. Thus man of all creatures is more than a creature, he is also a creator
• Imagination rules the world, imagination of all man’s faculties is the most god like.

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• Your brain and nervous system constitute a goal-striving mechanism which operates automatically to achieve a certain goal, very much as a self-aiming torpedo or a missile seeks out its target and steer its way to it

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• The torpedo accomplishes its goal by going forward, making errors, and continually correcting them
• When “YOU” select the goal and trigger it into action an automatic mechanism takes over

Page 21

• Once however, a correct or “successful response” has been accomplished – it is “remembered” for future use. The automatic mechanism then duplicates this successful response on future trials. It has “learned” how to respond successfully. It “remembers” its successes, forgets its failures, and repeats the successful action without any further conscious “thought” – or as a habit.

Page 24

• A computer does not have a forebrain nor an “I”. It cannot pose a problem to itself
• Many great thinkers of all ages have believed that man’s “stored information” is not limited to his own memories of past experiences, and learned facts. “There is one mind common to all individual men”

Page 25

• “we have found” says Dr Rine, “that there is a capacity for acquiring knowledge that transcends the sensory functions. This extra sensory capacity can give us knowledge certainly of objective and very likely of subjective states, knowledge of matter and most probably of minds”
• In much the same way, when we set out to find a new idea, or the answer to a problem, we must assume that answer exists already – somewhere and set out to find it

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• You cannot merely imagine a new self-image; unless you feel that it is based upon truth

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• IMAGINATION plays a far more important role in our lives than most of us realize

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• Your nervous system cannot tell the difference between an imagined experience and a real experience. In either case, it reacts automatically to information which you give to it from your forebrain. Your nervous system reacts appropriately to what “you” think or imagine to be true

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• The brain and nervous system which reacts automatically to environment is the same brain and nervous system which tells us what the environment is.

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• It follows that if our ideas and mental images concerning ourselves are distorted or unrealistic, then our reaction to our environment will likewise be inappropriate

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• If we picture ourselves performing in a certain manner, it is nearly the same as the actual performance. Mental practice helps to make perfect

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• You must have a clear mental picture of the correct thing before you can do it successfully

Page 41

• Thus, mental picturing the desired end result, literally forces you can use “positive thinking”

Page 43

• Your mental picture of yourself “the strongest force within you.”

Page 44

• He sees us as already serene, confident and cheerful, masters at the art of living with love and laughter and a desire to serve

Page 56

• And this feeling of inferiority comes about for just one reason: we judge ourselves and measure ourselves not against our own “norm” or “par” but against some other individuals “norm”.

Page 57

• Inferiority and Superiority are reverse sides off the same coin. The cure lies in realizing that the coin itself is curious.

The truth about you is this

You are not “inferior”

You are not “superior”

You are simply “you”

Page 58

• Stop measuring yourself against “their” standards. You are not “them” and can never measure up.

Page 59

• Inner security can only be found “in finding in oneself an individuality, uniqueness and distinctiveness that is akin to the idea of being created in the image of God”. Self-realization is gained by “a simple belief in one’s own uniqueness as human being, a sense of deep and wide awareness of all people and all things and a feeling of constructive influencing of others through one’s own personality”

Page 60

• The important factor in learning, in short, is the thought of an objective to be attained, either as a specific behaviour pattern or as the result of the behaviour, together with a desire for the attainment of the object
• Effort or “will power” used to fight against or resist worry, is the very thing that perpetuates worry and keeps going

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• It is conscious thinking is the “control knob” of your unconscious machine

Page 65

• This common denominator is that the patient has forgotten how, or probably never learned how, to control this present thinking to produce enjoyment

Page 66

• It is equally important that the error be consciously forgotten and the successful attempt remembered and dwelt upon. Those memories of past failures do no harm as long as our conscious thought and attention is focused upon the positive goal to be accomplished

Page 67

• Memories of past failures can adversely affect performance if we dwell upon them and foolishly conclude – “I failed yesterday – therefore it follows that I will fail again today”
• The minute that we change our minds and stop giving power to the past, the past with its mistakes loses power over us.

Page 71

• Lecky found that there were two powerful “levers” for changing beliefs and concepts. There are “standard” convictions which are strongly held by nearly everyone. These are (1) the feeling or belief that one is capable of doing his share, holding up his end of the log, exerting a certain amount of independence and (2) the belief that there is “something” inside you which should not be allowed to suffer indignities.
• Remember that both behaviour and feeling spring from belief.

Page 72

• Then ask yourself the questions:
  • 1. Is there any rational reason for such a belief?
  • 2. Could it be that I am mistaken in this belief?
  • 3. Would I come to the same conclusion about some other person in a similar situation?
  • 4. Why should I continue to act and feel as if this were true if there is no good reason to believe it?

Page 73

• Rational thought, to be effective in changing belief and behaviour, must be accompanied by deep feeling and desire.
• Your present negative beliefs were formed by thought plus feelings. Generate enough emotion, or deep feeling, and your new thoughts and ideas will cancel them out.

Page 74

• “In forming ‘good’ emotional habits, and in breaking ‘bad’ ones,” said Dr. Knight Dunlap, “we have to deal primarily with thought and thought habits. “As a man thinketh in his heart so is he.'”

Page 75

• Always think of what you have to do as easy and it will become so,” said Emile Coué. “I have made extensive experiments to discover the common causes of that conscious effort which freezes the thinking mind,” says psychologist Daniel W. Josselyn
• You simply must learn that if you can interest the neighbour you can interest all the neighbours, or the world, and not be frozen by magnitudes.

Page 76

• It is the job of conscious rational thought to decide what you want; select the goals you wish to achieve—and concentrate upon these rather than upon what you do not want.

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• It is not, however, responsible for results. We must learn to do our work, act upon the best assumptions available, and leave results to take care of themselves.

Page 79

• When once a decision is reached and execution is the order of the day, dismiss absolutely all responsibility and care about the outcome. Unclamp, in a word, your intellectual and practical machinery, and let it run free; and the service it will do you will be twice as good

Page 80

• Give up the feeling of responsibility, let go your hold, resign the care of your destiny to higher powers, be genuinely indifferent as to what becomes of it all

Page 84

• Do your worrying before you place your bet, not after the wheel starts turning

Page 86

• Form the habit of consciously responding to the present moment. Consciously practice the habit of “taking no anxious thought for tomorrow,” by giving all your attention to the present moment.

Page 87

• Stop—Look—and Listen! Practice becoming more consciously aware of your present environment. What sights, sounds, odours are present in your environment right now that you are not conscious of? Consciously practice looking and listening.

Page 88

• A great deal of nervousness is caused from unwittingly “trying” to do something that cannot be done here or now. You are geared for action or for “doing” which cannot take place. Keep constantly in mind that the job of your creative mechanism is to respond appropriately to present environment—here and now.

Page 89

• Try to do only one thing at a time. Another cause of confusion, and the resulting feelings of nervousness, hurry, and anxiety, is the absurd habit of trying to do many things at one time. The student studies and watches TV simultaneously.
• When we feel jittery, or worried, or anxious in thinking of the great amount of work that lies before us, the jittery feelings are not caused by the work, but by our mental attitude—which is “I ought to be able to do this all at once.” We become nervous because we are trying to do the impossible, and thereby making futility and frustration inevitable. The truth is: We can only “do” one thing at a time

Page 90

• When we work with this attitude, we are relaxed, we are free from the feelings of hurry and anxiety, and we can concentrate and think at our best
• Just as only one grain of sand could pass through the hourglass, so could we only do one thing at a time. It is not the job, but the way we insist upon thinking of the job that causes the trouble.
• no matter how many problems, tasks or strains we face, they always come to us in single file, which is the only way they can come.

Page 91

• Stop trying to cram into the machinery more than one job at a time
• Remember that your creative mechanism works best when there is not too much interference from your conscious “I.” In sleep, the creative mechanism has an ideal opportunity to work independently of conscious interference, if you have previously started the wheels turning.

Page 96

• A merry heart doeth good like a medicine, but a broken spirit drieth up the ‘ bones. Happy people are never wicked. The very word “disease” means a state of unhappiness—”dis-ease.” It might be nearer the truth if we said, “Be happy—and you will be good, more successful, healthier, feel and act more charitably towards others.” Happiness is not something that is earned or deserved. “Happiness is not the reward of virtue,” said Spinoza, “but virtue itself; nor do we delight in happiness because we restrain our lusts; but, on the contrary, because we delight in it, therefore are we able to restrain them.” (Spinoza, Ethics.)

Page 97

• Happiness comes from being and acting unselfishly—as a natural accompaniment to the being and acting, not as a “pay off” or prize.
• One of the most pleasant thoughts to any human being is the thought that he is needed, that he is important enough to help and add to the happiness of some other human being.
• The attitude of unhappiness is not only painful, it is mean and ugly.

Page 98

• We are never living, but only hoping to live; and looking forward always to being happy, it is inevitable that we never are so” said Pascal.
• They are attempting to live their lives on the deferred payment plan. They do not live, nor enjoy life now, but wait for some future event or occurrence.
• Happiness is a mental habit, a mental attitude, and if it is not learned’ and practiced in the present it is never experienced.

Page 101

• Men are disturbed,” said the sage, “not by things that happen, but by their opinion of the things that happen”

Page 103

• “The measure of mental health is the disposition to find good everywhere,” said that most famous moralist, Ralph Waldo Emerson

Page 104

• Like a squirrel hoarding chestnut, we should store up our moments of happiness and triumph so that in a crisis we can draw upon these memories for help and inspiration.

Page 108

• Our habits are literally garments worn by our personalities. They are not accidental, or happenstance. We have them because they fit us.

Page 109

• What we need to understand is that these habits, unlike addictions, can be modified, changed, or reversed, simply by taking the trouble to make a conscious decision—and then by practicing or “acting out” the new response or behaviour.

Page 113

• Sense of Direction – He regained control when he set himself new goals and began to think in terms of, “What do I want out of this job? What do I want to achieve? Where do I want to go?”

Page 114

• We are engineered as goal-seeking mechanisms. We are built that way.
• We are built to conquer environment, solve problems, achieve goals, and we find no real satisfaction or happiness in life without obstacles to conquer and goals to achieve

Page 115

• Understanding depends upon good communication. Communication is vital to any guidance system or computer. Most of our failures in human relations are due to “misunderstandings. No one reacts to “things as they are,” but to his own mental images, but because he “understands” and interprets the situation differently from us.

Page 116

• Look for and seek out true information concerning yourself, your problems, other people, or the situation, whether it is good news or bad news. Adopt the motto—”It doesn’t matter who’s right, but what’s right.”

Page 117

• Courage – Having a goal and understanding the situation are not enough. You must have the courage to act, for only by actions can goals, desires and beliefs be translated into realities
• All problems, personal, national, or combat, become smaller if you don’t dodge them, but confront them.
• Often the difference between a successful man and a failure is not one’s better abilities or ideas, but the courage that one must bet on his ideas, to take a calculated risk—-and to act.

Page 118

• You must daily have the courage to risk making mistakes, risk failure, risk being humiliated. A step in the wrong direction is better than staying “on the spot” all your life. Once you’re moving forward you can correct your course as you go.
• When we have faith and act with courage—that is exactly what we’re doing-—gambling on, taking a chance on, our own creative God-given talents
• Faith and courage are natural human instincts and we feel a need to express them—in one way or another.

Page 119

• They respect the dignity of human personality and deal with other people as if they were human beings, rather than as pawns in their own game. They recognize that every person is a child of God and is a unique individuality which deserves some dignity and respect.
• It is -a psychologic fact that our feelings about ourselves tend to correspond to our feelings about other people.
• The person who feels that “people are not very important” cannot have very much deep-down self-respect and self-regard—for he himself is “people” and with what judgment he considers others, he himself is unwittingly judged in his own mind. One of the best known methods of getting over a feeling of guilt is to stop condemning other people in your own mind—stop judging them—stop blaming them and hating them for their mistakes.

Page 120

• Try to develop a genuine appreciation for people by realizing the truth about them; they are children of God, unique personalities, creative beings.

Page 121

• Esteem – “Of all the traps and pitfalls in life, self-disesteem is the deadliest, and the hardest to overcome; for it is a pit designed and dug by our own hands, summed up in the phrase, ‘It’s no use—I can’t do it,’
• “The penalty of succumbing to it is heavy—both for the individual in terms of material rewards lost, and for society in gains and progress unachieved.
• We simply must get it through our heads that holding a low opinion of ourselves is not a virtue, but a vice

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• The biggest secret of self-esteem is this: Begin to appreciate other people more; show respect for any human being merely because he is a child of God and therefore a “thing of value.”
• For real self-esteem is not derived from the great things you’ve done, the things you own, the mark you’ve made—but an appreciation of yourself for what you are—a child of God.

Page 122

• Confidence is built upon an experience of success. It doesn’t matter how many times you have failed in the past. What matters is the successful attempt, which should be remembered, reinforced, and dwelt upon.
• Use errors and mistakes as a way to learning—then dismiss them from your mind. Deliberately remember and picture to yourself past successes.

Page 124

• Self-Acceptance – No real success or genuine happiness is possible until a person gains some degree of self-acceptance
• Success, which comes from self-expression, often eludes those who strive and strain to “be somebody,” and often comes, almost of its own accord, when a person becomes willing to relax and—”Be Himself.”

Page 125

• Most of us are better, wiser, stronger, more competent now, than we realize. Creating a better self-image does not create new abilities, talents, powers—it releases and utilizes them.

Page 126

• This requires admitting to ourselves—and accepting the fact, that our personality, our “expressed self,” or what some psychologists call our “actual self,” is always imperfect and short of the mark.
• The Actual Self is not a static but a dynamic thing. It is never completed and final, but always in a state of growth. It is important that we learn to accept this Actual Self, with all its imperfections, because it is the only vehicle we have.
• Accept yourself as you are—and start from there. Differentiate between your “self” and your behaviour. “You” are not ruined or worthless because you made a mistake or got off course, any more than a typewriter is worthless which makes an error

Page 127

• I may not be perfect, I may have faults and weaknesses, I might have gotten off the track, I may have a long way to go—but I am something and I will make the most of that something.
• Enough of us to know that it means faith, trust, confidence, the human expression of the God within us. He says, ‘Do my work.’ Go and do it. No matter what it is. Do it, but do it with a zest; a keenness; a gusto that surmounts obstacles and brushes aside discouragement.
• Accept yourself. Be yourself.

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• F-rustration A—ggressiveness (misdirected) I-nsecurity L-oneliness (lack of “oneness”) U-ncertainty R-esentment E—mptiness.

Page 131

• Frustration is an emotional feeling which develops whenever some important goal cannot be realized or when some strong desire is thwarted. As we grow older we should learn that all desires cannot be satisfied immediately.

Page 132

• Aggressiveness – Excessive and misdirected aggressiveness follows frustration as night follows day. We must go out after what we want in an aggressive rather than in a defensive or tentative manner. We must grapple with problems aggressively
• The failure-type personality does not direct his aggressiveness toward the accomplishment of a worthwhile goal.

Page 135

• The answer to aggression is not to eradicate it, but to understand it, and provide proper and appropriate channels for its expression.
• Misdirected aggression is an attempt to hit one target (the original goal) by lashing out at any target. It doesn’t work. You don’t solve one problem by creating another.

Page 136

• Insecurity – A great deal of insecurity is not due to the fact that our inner resources are actually inadequate, but due to the fact that we use a false measuring stick. We compare our actual abilities to an imagined “ideal,” perfect, or absolute set

Page 137

• “Why callest thou me good? There is but one good and that is the Father.” St. Paul is generally regarded as a “good” man, yet his own attitude was, “I count myself not to have achieved . . . but I press on toward the goal.”

Page 138

• Loneliness – All of us are lonely at times. Again, it is a natural penalty we pay for being human and individual.
• The person who is alienated from his real self has cut himself off from the basic and fundamental “contact” with life.

Page 139

• Doing things with other people and enjoying things with other people, helps us to forget ourselves
• The lonely personality is afraid of other people.
• It never occurs to him that he should contribute something to any social situation.
• Regardless of your feelings, force yourself to mix and mingle with other people
• It is an old psychological axiom that constant exposure to the object of fear immunizes against the fear

Page 140

• The greatest mistake a man can make is to be afraid of making one
• The fallacious premise that if no decision is made, nothing can go wrong
• Realize that it is not required that a man be 100 per cent right at all times

Page 141

• Many people are indecisive because they fear loss of self-esteem if they are proved wrong. Use self-esteem for yourself, instead of against yourself, by convincing yourself of this truth: Big men and big personalities make mistakes and admit them. It is the little man who is afraid to admit he has been wrong. “No man ever became great or good except through many and great mistakes,” said Gladstone

Page 142

• Resentment – Resentment is an attempt to make our own failure palatable by explaining it in terms of unfair treatment, injustice.
• Resentment is an emotional rehashing, or re-fighting of some event in the past. You cannot win, because you are attempting to do the impossible—change the past.

Page 143

• Resentment, even when based upon real injustices and wrongs, is not the way to win.
• Habitual resentment invariably leads to self-pity, which is the worst possible emotional habit anyone can develop
• Remember that your resentment is not caused by other persons, events, or circumstances. It is caused by your own emotional response—your own reaction
• You set your goals. No one owes you anything. You go out after your own goals. You become responsible for your own success, and happiness

Page 144

• Emptiness – Along the way, they lost the capacity to enjoy
• A person who has the capacity to enjoy still alive within him finds enjoyment in many ordinary and simple things in life

Page 145

• Emptiness is a symptom that you are not living creatively
• It is the person who has no goal worth working for who concludes, “Life is not worthwhile.”
• The individual who is actively engaged in a struggle, or in striving toward an important goal, does not come up with pessimistic philosophies concerning the meaninglessness or the futility of life

Page 147

• Striving for goals which are important to you, not as status symbols, but because they are consistent with your own deep inner wants, is healthful. Striving for real success—for your success— through creative accomplishment, brings a deep inner satisfaction. Striving for a phony success to please others brings a phony satisfaction

Page 149

• We are very apt to become hardened of heart, callous toward the world, and to withdraw within a protective shell.

Page 151

• The real curative agent was the removal of the emotional scars, the security against social “cuts,” the healing of emotional hurts and injuries, and the restoration of his self-image as an acceptable member of society, which—in his case— surgery made possible
• To guard against future injury from that source they form a spiritual callus, an emotional scar to protect their ego
• Excessive protection against the original source of injury can make us more vulnerable, and do us even more damage in other areas

Page 152

• 1. They see themselves as liked, wanted, acceptable and able individuals.
• 2. They have a high degree of acceptance of themselves as they are.
• 3. They have a feeling of oneness with others.
• 4. They have a rich store of information and knowledge

Page 153

• Be too big to feel threatened, it is a well-known psychologic fact that the people who become offended the easiest, have the lowest self-esteem.

Page 154

• A big strong man does not feel threatened by a small danger; a little man does. In the same way a healthy strong ego, with plenty of self-esteem, does not feel itself threatened by every innocent remark.

Page 155

• Self-esteem is as necessary to the spirit as food is to the body. When a person has adequate self-esteem little slights offer no threat at all—they are simply “passed over” and ignored.
• A Self-Reliant, Responsible Attitude Makes You Less Vulnerable – The person with the hard, gruff exterior, usually develops it because instinctively he realizes that he is so soft inside that he needs protection
• Every human being wants and needs love and affection. But the creative, self-reliant person also feels a need to give love

Page 156

• Try giving affection, love, approval, acceptance, understanding, to other people, and you will find them coming back to you as a sort of reflex action.
• Relax Away Emotional Hurts – If there is no tension present, there is no disfiguring emotional scar left

Page 157

• This simple, everyday experience illustrates very well the principle that we are injured and hurt emotionally— not so much by other people or what they say or don’t say—but by our own attitude and our own response.
• “No man is hurt but by himself,” said Diogenes
• Nothing can work me damage except myself,” said St. Bernard. “The harm that I sustain I carry about with me, and am never a real sufferer but by my own fault.”

Page 159

• Old emotional scars cannot be doctored or medicated. They must be “cut out,” given up entirely, eradicated.

Page 160

• “I can forgive, but I cannot forget,’ is only another way of saying ‘I will not forgive” said Henry Ward Beecher. “Forgiveness ought to be like a cancelled note torn in two, and burned up, so that it never can be shown against one.” Forgiveness, when it is real and genuine and complete, and forgotten—is the scalpel which can remove the pus from old emotional wounds, heal them, and eliminate scar tissue.

Page 161

• First, the “wrong”—and particularly our own feeling of condemnation of it—must be seen as an undesirable thing rather than a desirable thing.

Page 162

• True forgiveness comes only when we are able to see, and emotionally accept, that there is and was nothing for us to forgive. We should not have condemned or hated the other person in the first place.

Page 163

• You cannot forgive a person unless you have first condemned him. Jesus never condemned the woman in the first place—so there was nothing for him to forgive. He recognized her sin, or her mistake, but did not feel called upon to hate her for it. He was able to see, before the fact, what you and I must see after the fact in practicing forgiveness: that we ourselves err when we hate a person because of his mistakes, or when we condemn him, or classify him as a certain type of person, confusing his person with his behaviour; or when we mentally incur a debt that the other person must “pay” before being restored to our good graces, and our emotional acceptance

Page 164

• We beat ourselves over the head with self-condemnation, remorse and regret. We beat ourselves down with self-doubt. We cut ourselves up with excessive guilt. Remorse and regret are attempts to emotionally live in the past

Page 165

• It was essential, he said, that the patient learn to stop blaming himself, condemning himself, and feeling remorseful over his habits—if he were to cure them. He found particularly damaging the conclusion “I am ruined,” or “I am worthless,” because the patient had done, or was doing, certain acts. So remember “You” make mistakes. Mistakes don’t make “You”—anything.

Page 168

• Personality is released from within
• The real self within every person is attractive
• The person with poor personality does not express the creative self within

Page 170

• The purpose of negative feedback, however, is to modify response, and change the course of forward action not to stop it altogether. However, if the mechanism is too sensitive to negative feedback, the servo-mechanism overcorrects.
• Negative feedback always says in effect, “Stop what you’re doing, or the way you’re doing it—and do something else.”

Page 172

• However, if negative feedback is to be effective in helping us to talk better, it should (1) be more or less automatic or subconscious, (2) it should occur spontaneously, or while we’re talking and (3) response to feedback should not be so sensitive as to result in inhibition

Page 177

• The way to make a good impression on other people is: Never consciously “try” to make a good impression on them. Never act or fail to act purely for consciously contrived effect. Never “wonder” consciously what the other person is thinking of you, how he is judging you.

Page 178

• This attitude of being immune to strangers or strange situations, this total disregard for all the unknown or unexpected has a name. It is called poise. Poise is the deliberate shunting aside of all fears arising from new and uncontrollable circumstances

Page 182

• You need to practice being less careful, less concerned, less conscientious.

Page 184

• Our goal is an adequate, self-fulfilling, creative personality. The path to the goal is a course between too much inhibition and too little. When there is too much, we correct course by ignoring inhibition and practicing more disinhibition
• If you are shy around strangers; if you dread new and strange situations; if you feel inadequate, worry a lot, are anxious, overly-concerned; if you are nervous, and feel self-conscious; if you have any “nervous symptoms” such as facial tics, blinking your eyes unnecessarily, tremor, difficulty in going to sleep; if you feel ill at ease in social situations; if you hold yourself back and continually take a back seat—then, these are all symptoms showing that you have too much inhibition—you are too careful in everything, you “plan” too much. You need to practice St. Paul’s advice to the Ephesians: “Be careful in nothing”

Page 185

• Jesus advises us to give no thought as to what we would say if delivered up to councils, but that the spirit would advise us what to say at the -time.
• Don’t plan (take no thought for tomorrow). Don’t think before you act. Act—and correct your actions as you go along. This advice may seem radical, yet it is actually the way all servo-mechanisms must work
• Stop criticising yourself
• Make a habit of speaking louder than usual. Inhibited people are notoriously soft-spoken
• Let people know when you like them. The inhibited personality is as afraid of expressing “good” feelings as bad ones

Page 188

• In much the same way that you automatically obey or respond to the ring of the telephone, we all become conditioned to respond in a certain way to various stimuli in our environment.

Page 190

• The telephone is ringing, but I do not have to answer it. I can just let it ring

Page 191

• Delaying the response breaks up and interferes with the automatic workings of conditioning.

Page 192

• Protect yourself from disturbing stimuli by maintaining the relaxed attitude.
• For nowhere, either with more quiet or more freedom from trouble, does a man retire than into his own soul, particularly when he has within him such thoughts that by looking into them he is immediately in perfect tranquillity; and I affirm that tranquillity is nothing else than the good ordering of the mind. Constantly then give to thyself this retreat, and renew thyself. – Meditations of Marcus Aurelius

Page 193

• Each of us needs a quiet room inside his own mind. This quiet room within, which is built in imagination, works as a mental and emotional decompression chamber.

Page 194

• Whenever you begin to feel tension mounting, or to feel hurried or harried, retire into your quiet room for a few moments.

Page 196

• This exercise of retiring for a few moments into your quiet room in your mind can accomplish the same sort of “clearance” of your success mechanism, and for that reason, it is very helpful to practice it in between tasks, situations, environments, which require different moods, mental adjustments, or “mental sets.”

Page 198

• The key to the matter of whether you are disturbed or tranquil, fearful or composed, is not the external stimulus, whatever it may be, but your own response and reaction.

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• Be like the promontory against which the waves continually break, but it stands firm and tames the fury of the water around it. Marcus Aurelius

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• You must keep your eye on the ball. Then, your response will be appropriate—and you will have no time to notice or respond to a fictitious environment.

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• The moral is obvious for either mice or men: Practice without pressure and you will learn more efficiently and be able to perform better in a crisis situation.

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• The word crisis comes from a Greek word which means, literally, decisiveness, or point of decision. I always think about what I am going to do, and what I want to happen

Page 216

• How wonderful is the way in which, with quite ordinary folk, power leaps to our aid in any time of emergency
• Common experience teaches that, when great demands are made upon us, if only we fearlessly accept the challenge and confidently expend our strength, every danger or difficulty brings its own strength —’As thy days so shall thy strength be.’ “The secret lies in the attitude of “fearlessly accepting the challenge,” and “confidently expending our strength.”

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• The possibility of the goal must be seen so clearly that it becomes “real” to your brain and nervous system. So real, in fact, that the same feelings are evoked as would be present if the goal were already achieved.

Page 227

• Henry J. Kaiser has said, “When a tough, challenging job is to be done, I look for a person who possesses an enthusiasm and optimism for life, who makes a zestful confident attack on his daily problems, one who shows courage and imagination, who pins down his buoyant spirit with careful planning and hard work, but says, ‘This may be tough, but it can be licked.'”

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• The principle is merely to start with an “opponent” over which you can succeed, and gradually take on more and more difficult tasks
• Pavlov, on his death-bed, was asked to give one last bit of advice to his students on how to succeed. His answer was, “Passion and gradualness.”

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• Jesus warned us about sweeping the mind clean of one demon, only to have seven new ones move in, if we left the house empty. He also advised us not to resist evil, but to overcome evil with good

Page 242

• Our present thinking, our present mental habits, our attitudes toward past experiences, and our attitudes toward the future—all have an influence upon old recorded engrams. The old can be changed, modified, replaced, by our present-thinking.

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• When we decide to curtail mental and social activities, we stultify ourselves. We become “set” in our ways, bored, and give up our “great expectations.”

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• I believe that we establish this need by looking forward to the future with joy and anticipation, when we expect to enjoy tomorrow, and above all, when we have something important (to us) to do and somewhere to go.

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• We age, not by years, but by events and our emotional reactions to them

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• Faith, courage, interest, optimism, looking forward, bring us new life and more life. Futility, pessimism, frustration, living in the past, are not only characteristic of “old age”; they contribute to it.

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• Everyone’s real goal, as I said in the beginning, is for more life—more living. Whatever your definition of happiness may be, you will experience happiness only as you experience more life. More living means among other things more accomplishment, the attainment of worthwhile goals, more love experienced and given, more health and enjoyment, more happiness for both yourself and others.
• I believe that there is ONE LIFE, one ultimate source, but that this ONE LIFE has many channels of expression and manifests itself in many forms. If we are to “Get More Living out of Life,” we should not limit the channels through which Life may come to us. We must accept it, whether it comes in the form of science, religion, psychology, or what not.
• God has offered us forgiveness and the peace of mind and happiness that come from self-acceptance. It is an insult to our Creator to turn our backs upon these gifts or to say that his creation—man— is so “unclean” that he is not worthy, or important or capable
• You cannot believe yourself the image of God, deeply and sincerely, with full conviction, and not receive a new source of strength and power

Final Thoughts

I read allot of self help in my younger years and allot of it is rehash. If there was one self help book that I would recommend it would be this and the 7 habits. The message in psychocybernetics is very pure. It doesn’t involve changing yourself but rather embracing yourself. It doesn’t promise you a thing but advises you try your best and keep going. It doesn’t give you 10 tips to be more liked but to be yourself and accept who and what you are. Think highly of yourself, do good things and live life one moment at a time and leave the results in Gods hands.