Synopsis: A series of letters a father wrote to his son before he got married about his best advise on married life that he learned from a career as a pastor and marriage consoler.
Key Takeaways
- Take Charge
There is a delicate line between “just enough” and “too much”
Be like the conductor standing on his box directing a symphony. Delicate, but definite! Subdued, yet powerful!
Establish your home as a democracy with a male head - Learn To Be Kind
The blend is what I like. I love you for what you are in total
Am I willing to train myself away from selfishness toward the point where I can honestly care how the other person feels
Like all healthy women she has in her make up something which can’t help responding to kindness - Start At The Mirror
A wife is much more willing to face what is her fault if her husband has shown that he is willing to assume what is his responsibility
Look in the mirror and say “Here where we begin”
There are two kinds of faults;
I. Those you cannot correct and you work into your love as props in a structure.
II. Those that can be corrected and you make yourselves as good stewards of life if you face these intelligently together - Ask Her To Help You To Grow
If you lead out by asking her to help you improve, if you receive graciously what she has to offer and thank her for it, one day she’ll turn the whole thing around and ask you to help her
We are not only aiming to be good to each other, but for each other and the world - Seven Goals For Communication
I. We will aim to be best friends
II. At least once each week we will go out together
III. We make it a goal to be honest all the way
IV. As an ideal, forty-eight hours will be our hiding limit
V. We will aim for total mercy forgiveness
VI. We will respect each other’s privacy
VII. We will remember that mystery is a blessing
This is the gradual opening of two hearts to welcome each other at the core of their beings. The surfacing of the real you is the secret to a long life, inner health and total communion - If You Like It, Say So
Every day I aim to do three things as a husband
I. Tell her I love her
II. Do something nice for her
III. Pay her a compliment - The Power Of Suggestion
If the power of suggestion can affect us like that from a source where we couldn’t care less, what do you think it would do if we heard it over and over from someone we loved? - How To Tell Her What You Don’t Like
There isn’t a women in the world in her right mind who would flatly reflect any suggestion that might solidify her relationship with the man she loves - Winning By Losing
In marriage sometimes you get what you want tomorrow by yielding some ground today. Accept and even encourage the losing position to show its faults and get your way in the long term. And if you like it all the better and if she likes it, same same. - Fragments Of Devotion
Make something of the special days. Anniversaries, the day you met, birthdays, name days and any day where you can spend time together
Women go for ingenuity, put her high on your agenda, book in dates, romantic outings, walks and little gifts
Women long for some practical devotion, help with the house work, give her alone time and let her enjoy her self
Keep on pursuing her even after you have won her - I Can Hardly Wait To See You
This is that nothing can turn on a woman quite like knowing that she turns you on
Don’t ever lose this “I can hardly wait to see you” spirit
I’ve got a gap in my schedule here and I’d sure like to spend it with you! Come on down and lets have a bite together.
I love you more than yesterday, less than tomorrow - “LATE” Is a Four Letter Word
A contended wife who knows her husband has been thinking of her feelings is worth every cent of whatever is costs to be considerate - How To Treat a Women In Public
Keep your head screwed on when you’re with your soman in public - How Not To Treat A Woman
The female species responds best if she knows she is number one on some male agenda.
Or like the man who kept his hat on, you can be real genius if you let her know that everything else, including your mother, comes second to her - Treat Her As A Person
Whenever you buy her a gift, let her tell you how nice your gift is, while you tell here how nice she is
I love you because you’re you
Things are to use, people are to love, be sure its not vice vera with you - A Half Dozen “Nevers”
I. Never point in derision to something she can’t change
II. Never criticize her in public
III. Never compare her unfavourably with other women
IV. Never drop a delayed bomb
V. Never go away when she is crying
VI. Never lay a hand on her except in love - And A Few “Try Not To’s”
I. Treating a women right is like having money in the bank
II. Give her time to help you
III. Tell her news when you hear it - Some Moments Are Only For Her
Sometimes a woman likes to believe her man is concentrating exclusively on her and that he has nothing else in mind but her, that she is interesting enough to absorb him completely - Dialogue On Moods
Another sure thing is that she will love you more if you learn how to handle her when she isn’t dependable
It hits me hard that I treat people nice all day and act like a heel with the family - Troubles Are For Sharing
What he did was to convince me that a man better learn to share his problems with his wife at the right time – and totally
You promised to share your life in plenty and in want and in joy and in sorrow. The husband who forgets this may be in for more trouble tomorrow than he would have today if he simply opened up and gave it to her straight - Fight The Good Fight
Never be ashamed of anger. It is a natural part of being a useful person. The only thing you need to regret is when you handle it badly
I. Before we begin we must both agree that the time is right
II. We will remember that our only aim is deeper understanding
III. We will check our weapons often to be sure they’re not deadly
IV. We will lower our voices one notch instead of raising them two – Say it softly as you say it thoroughly
V. We will never never quarrel or reveal private matters in public
VI. We will discuss an armistice whenever either of us calls halt
VII. When we have come to terms we will put it away till we both agree it needs more discussing – Don’t try to force more unanimity than your marriage is prepared to handle at any given stage of your development
Offer apologies, the request for forgiveness and the assurance that you will do your best to forget - Rural Wisdom
Only a fool spits into the wind - Money Maxims
I. Attitude counts more than amount
II. Live today before tomorrow
III. Giving affects income
Getting in order to give touches the very core of life’s meaning - Clothes, Hair and Miscellany
Let them spend want and don’t be a miser with them - In-Laws
Remember nobody stands higher with you other than those who are nice to your children - Sex – The Twenty Year Warm Up
He is aware that he can warm his woman with words before he even lays a hand on her - Infidelity
Speak freely about the types you prefer and be honest about your transactions - The Lord Build The House
The kind of homes we most need are those where two lives are being drawn together by a holy love greater than their own - The Man Who Had A “Thing” About Guns
“I just can’t understand how man could invest so much in a gun and then let it go to pot”
Final Thoughts: A good book that I would recommend to anyone in a marriage. It can help allot with how to think about the other person.. The thing that sticks with me is how we treat our significant other compared to colleagues at work. I should be a patient with my wife as I am in the office. 8.5/10
Stranger in Sydney 