If This Is A Man – The Truce. By Primo Levi

Synopsis: A story of an Italian Jew holocaust survivor.

Key Takeaways

Page 20 – Or even – absurdly – to be in conformity with the law

Page 21 – If you and your child were going to be killed tomorrow, would you not give him to eat today?

Page 23 – Sooner or later in life everyone discovers that perfect happiness is unrealizable, but there are few who pause to consider the antithesis: that perfect unhappiness is equally unattainable. The obstacles preventing the realization of both these extreme states are of the same nature: they derive from our human condition which is opposed to everything infinite. Our ever-insufficient knowledge of the future opposes it: and this is called, in the one instance, hope, and in the other, uncertainty of the following day. The certainty of death opposes it: for it places a limit on every joy, but also on every grief.

Page 24 – There are few men who know how to go their deaths with dignity, and often they are not those whom one would expect

Page 28 – Arbeit Macht Frei, work gives freedom

Page 33 – For he who loses all, often easily loses himself

Page 34 – Everyone will treat with respect the number from 30,000 to 80,000, there are only a few hundred left and they represented the few survivals from the polish ghettos. It is as well to watch out in commercial dealings with a 116,000 or a 117,000, they now number only about forty, but they represent the Greeks of Salonica

Page 42 – the problem of the remote future has grown pale to them and has lost all intensity in face of the far more urgent and concrete problems of the near future: how much one will eat today, if it will snow, if there will be coal to unload

Page 77 – Next to us there is a group of Greeks, those admirable and terrible Jews of Salonica, tenacious, thieving, wise, ferocious and united, so determined to live, such pitiless opponents in the struggle for life; those Greeks who have conquered in the kitchens and in the yards, and whom even the Germans respect and the Poles fear. They are in their third year of camp, and nobody knows better than them what the camp means. They now stand closely in a circle, shoulder to shoulder, and sing one of their interminable chants

Page 94 – In history and in life one sometimes seems to glimpse a ferocious law which states: “to he that has, will be given; from he that has not, will be taken away. In the Lager, where man is alone and where the struggle for life is reduced to its primordial mechanism, this unjust law is openly in force, is recognized by all.

Page 95 – the result of this pitiless process of natural selection could be read in the statistics of the lager. At Auschwitz, in 1944. Of the old Jewsih prisoners, low numbers, less than 150,000, only a few hundred had survived; not one was an ordinary Haftling, vegetating in the ordinary Kommandos and subsiding on the normal ration. There remained only doctors, tailors, shoemakers, musicians, cooks, young attractive homosexuals, friends or compatriots of some authority in the camp, or they were  particularly pitiless, vigorous and inhuman individuals, installed in the posts of Kapos, Blockaltetster, etc; or finally, those whom with fulfilling particular functions, had always succeeded through their astuteness and energy in successfully organizing, gaining in this way, besides material advantages and reputation, the indulagence and esteem of the powerful people in the camp. Whosoever does not know how to become an “Organisator”, “Kombinator”, “Prominent” soon become a musselman.

Page 97 – They are the typical product of the structure of the German Lager: if one offers a position of privilege to a few individuals in a state of slavery, exacting in exchange the betrayal of a natural solidarity with their comrades, there will certainly be someone who will accept. He will be withdrawn from the common law and will become untouchable; the more power that he is given, the more he will be consequently hateful and hated. When he is given the command of a group of unfortunates, with the right of life or death over them, he will be cruel and tyrannical, because he will understand that if he is not sufficiently so, someone else, judged more suitable, will take over his post. Moreover, his capacity for hatred, unfulfilled in the direction of the oppressors, will double back, beyond all reason, on the oppressed; and he will only be satisfied when he has unloaded onto his underlings the injury received from above

Page 127 – I believe that it was really due to Lorenzo that I am alive today; and not so much for his material aid as for having constantly reminded me by his presence, by his natural and plain manner of being good, that there still existed a just world outside our own, something and someone still pure and whole, not corrupt, not savage, extraneous to hatred and terror, something difficult to define, a remote possibility of good, but for which it was worth surviving

Page 138 – He does not yet know that it is better to be beaten, because one does not normally die of blow, but one does of exhaustion and badly, and when one grows aware of it, it is already too late

Page 141 – Poor silly Kraus. If he only knew that it is not true, I have really dreamt nothing about him, that he is nothing to me except for a brief moment, nothing like everything is nothing down here, except the hunger inside and the cold and the rain around.

Page 145 – But Haftling 174517 has been promoted as a specialist and has the right to a new shirt and underpants and has to be shaved every Wednesday. No one can boast of understanding the Germans.

Page 147 – They construct shelter and trenches, they repair the damage, they build, they fight, they command, they organize, and they kill. What else could they do? They are Germans. This way of behaviour is not meditated and deliberate but follows from there nature and from the destiny they have chosen.

Page 176 – None of us felt strong enough to walk the one mile to the English camp and return with a load. But indirectly the fortunate expedition proved of advantage to many. The unequal division of goods caused a flourishing of industry and commerce. Our room, with its lethal atmosphere, transformed itself into a factory of candles poured into cardboard moulds, with wicks soaked in boracic acid. The riches of hut 14 absorbed our entire production, paying us in lard and flour.

The Truce

Page 193 – The three, now hollow, words of derision, “Arbeit Macht Frei”, “Work Gives Freedom”

Page 213 – As for myself, I confess that I was impressed mainly by his big sack and his quality of a Salonikite, which, as everyone in Auschwitz knew, was equivalent to a guarantee of highly skilled mercantile ability, and of knowing how to get oneself out of any situation

Page 215 – Then you are a fool, he said calmly. A man who has no shoes is a fool.

Page 215 – Words, said the Greek, anyone can talk. I had temperature of 104, and I didn’t know if it was day or night; but one thing I did know, that I needed shoes and other things, so I got up, and I went as far as the store to study the situation. There was a Russian with a sten-gun in front of the door, but I wanted the shoes, and so I walked to the back, I broke open a small window and I entered. So I got my shoes, and also the sack, and everything that is inside the sack, which will prove useful later on. That is foresight; yours is stupidity. It’s a failure to understand the reality of things.

Page 216 – But the Greek knew how to work all the skives in the world, and while I was speaking he was routing about in the sack hanging on my back

Page 219 – The basis of his ethic was work, which to him was sacred duty, but which understood in a very wide sense. To him, work included everything, but with the condition that it should bring profit without limiting liberty. The concept of work thus included, as well as certain permissible activities, smuggling, theft and fraud (not robbery: he was not a violent man). On the other hand he considered reprehensible, because humiliating, all activities which did not involve initiative or risk or which presupposed a discipline and a hierarchy, any relationship of employment, any services, even if they were well paid, he lumped together as servile work. But it was not servile work to plough your own field, or to sell false antiques to tourists at a port.

Page 224 – When war is waging, one has to think of two things before all others: in first place ones shoes, in the second place of food to eat: not vice versa, as the common herd believes, because he who has shoes can search for food, but the inverse is not true. But the war is over, I objected, and I thought it was over, as did many in those months of truce, in a much more universal sense than one dares to think today. There is always war, replied Mordo Nahum memorably.

Page 235 – One of the most important things I had learnt in Auschwitz was that one must always avoid being a nobody. All roads are closed to a person who appears useless, all are open to a person who has a function, even the most fatuous.

Final Thoughts – An amazing book about a harrowing story. The insights to human behaviours, the darkness of human nature and ability of the human spirit all sine through. A truly great book. 8.5/10

Letters To Phillip. By Charlie W. Shedd

Synopsis: A series of letters a father wrote to his son before he got married about his best advise on married life that he learned from a career as a pastor and marriage consoler.

Key Takeaways

  1. Take Charge
    There is a delicate line between “just enough” and “too much”
    Be like the conductor standing on his box directing a symphony. Delicate, but definite! Subdued, yet powerful!
    Establish your home as a democracy with a male head
  2. Learn To Be Kind
    The blend is what I like. I love you for what you are in total
    Am I willing to train myself away from selfishness toward the point where I can honestly care how the other person feels
    Like all healthy women she has in her make up something which can’t help responding to kindness
  3. Start At The Mirror
    A wife is much more willing to face what is her fault if her husband has shown that he is willing to assume what is his responsibility
    Look in the mirror and say “Here where we begin”
    There are two kinds of faults;
    I. Those you cannot correct and you work into your love as props in a structure.
    II. Those that can be corrected and you make yourselves as good stewards of life if you face these intelligently together
  4. Ask Her To Help You To Grow
    If you lead out by asking her to help you improve, if you receive graciously what she has to offer and thank her for it, one day she’ll turn the whole thing around and ask you to help her
    We are not only aiming to be good to each other, but for each other and the world
  5. Seven Goals For Communication
    I. We will aim to be best friends
    II. At least once each week we will go out together
    III. We make it a goal to be honest all the way
    IV. As an ideal, forty-eight hours will be our hiding limit
    V. We will aim for total mercy forgiveness
    VI. We will respect each other’s privacy
    VII. We will remember that mystery is a blessing
    This is the gradual opening of two hearts to welcome each other at the core of their beings. The surfacing of the real you is the secret to a long life, inner health and total communion
  6. If You Like It, Say So
    Every day I aim to do three things as a husband
    I. Tell her I love her
    II. Do something nice for her
    III. Pay her a compliment
  7. The Power Of Suggestion
    If the power of suggestion can affect us like that from a source where we couldn’t care less, what do you think it would do if we heard it over and over from someone we loved?
  8. How To Tell Her What You Don’t Like
    There isn’t a women in the world in her right mind who would flatly reflect any suggestion that might solidify her relationship with the man she loves
  9. Winning By Losing
    In marriage sometimes you get what you want tomorrow by yielding some ground today. Accept and even encourage the losing position to show its faults and get your way in the long term. And if you like it all the better and if she likes it, same same.
  10. Fragments Of Devotion
    Make something of the special days. Anniversaries, the day you met, birthdays, name days and any day where you can spend time together
    Women go for ingenuity, put her high on your agenda, book in dates, romantic outings, walks and little gifts
    Women long for some practical devotion, help with the house work, give her alone time and let her enjoy her self
    Keep on pursuing her even after you have won her
  11. I Can Hardly Wait To See You
    This is that nothing can turn on a woman quite like knowing that she turns you on
    Don’t ever lose this “I can hardly wait to see you” spirit
    I’ve got a gap in my schedule here and I’d sure like to spend it with you! Come on down and lets have a bite together.
    I love you more than yesterday, less than tomorrow
  12. “LATE” Is a Four Letter Word
    A contended wife who knows her husband has been thinking of her feelings is worth every cent of whatever is costs to be considerate
  13. How To Treat a Women In Public
    Keep your head screwed on when you’re with your soman in public
  14. How Not To Treat A Woman
    The female species responds best if she knows she is number one on some male agenda.
    Or like the man who kept his hat on, you can be real genius if you let her know that everything else, including your mother, comes second to her
  15. Treat Her As A Person
    Whenever you buy her a gift, let her tell you how nice your gift is, while you tell here how nice she is
    I love you because you’re you
    Things are to use, people are to love, be sure its not vice vera with you
  16. A Half Dozen “Nevers”
    I. Never point in derision to something she can’t change
    II. Never criticize her in public
    III. Never compare her unfavourably with other women
    IV. Never drop a delayed bomb
    V. Never go away when she is crying
    VI. Never lay a hand on her except in love
  17. And A Few “Try Not To’s”
    I. Treating a women right is like having money in the bank
    II. Give her time to help you
    III. Tell her news when you hear it
  18. Some Moments Are Only For Her
    Sometimes a woman likes to believe her man is concentrating exclusively on her and that he has nothing else in mind but her, that she is interesting enough to absorb him completely
  19. Dialogue On Moods
    Another sure thing is that she will love you more if you learn how to handle her when she isn’t dependable
    It hits me hard that I treat people nice all day and act like a heel with the family
  20. Troubles Are For Sharing
    What he did was to convince me that a man better learn to share his problems with his wife at the right time – and totally
    You promised to share your life in plenty and in want and in joy and in sorrow. The husband who forgets this may be in for more trouble tomorrow than he would have today if he simply opened up and gave it to her straight
  21. Fight The Good Fight
    Never be ashamed of anger. It is a natural part of being a useful person. The only thing you need to regret is when you handle it badly
    I. Before we begin we must both agree that the time is right
    II. We will remember that our only aim is deeper understanding
    III. We will check our weapons often to be sure they’re not deadly
    IV. We will lower our voices one notch instead of raising them two – Say it softly as you say it thoroughly
    V. We will never never quarrel or reveal private matters in public
    VI. We will discuss an armistice whenever either of us calls halt
    VII. When we have come to terms we will put it away till we both agree it needs more discussing – Don’t try to force more unanimity than your marriage is prepared to handle at any given stage of your development
    Offer apologies, the request for forgiveness and the assurance that you will do your best to forget
  22. Rural Wisdom
    Only a fool spits into the wind
  23. Money Maxims
    I. Attitude counts more than amount
    II. Live today before tomorrow
    III. Giving affects income
    Getting in order to give touches the very core of life’s meaning
  24. Clothes, Hair and Miscellany
    Let them spend want and don’t be a miser with them
  25. In-Laws
    Remember nobody stands higher with you other than those who are nice to your children
  26. Sex – The Twenty Year Warm Up
    He is aware that he can warm his woman with words before he even lays a hand on her
  27. Infidelity
    Speak freely about the types you prefer and be honest about your transactions
  28. The Lord Build The House
    The kind of homes we most need are those where two lives are being drawn together by a holy love greater than their own
  29. The Man Who Had A “Thing” About Guns
    “I just can’t understand how man could invest so much in a gun and then let it go to pot”

Final Thoughts: A good book that I would recommend to anyone in a marriage. It can help allot with how to think about the other person.. The thing that sticks with me is how we treat our significant other compared to colleagues at work. I should be a patient with my wife as I am in the office. 8.5/10

The Inner Game Of Tennis. By Tim Gallwey

Synopsis: A book about tennis but like all great books it about allot more than that.

Key Takeaways

Page 28 – Getting it together mentally in tennis involves the learning of several internal skills:

· Learning to program your computer Self 2 with images rather than instructing yourself with words; · Learning to “trust thyself” (Self 2) to do what you (Self 1) ask of it. This means letting Self 2 hit the ball;

 · Learning to see “nonjudgmentally” – that is, to see what is happening rather than merely noticing how well or how badly it is happening.

This overcomes “trying too hard’ as these skills are subsidiary to the master skill, without which nothing of value is ever achieved: the art of concentration. The Inner Game of Tennis will next explore a way to learn these skills, using tennis as a medium.

Page 31 – As soon as we reflect, deliberate, and conceptualize, the original unconsciousness is lost, and a thought interferes. . . The arrow is off the string but does not fly straight to the target, nor does the target stand where it is. Calculation, which is miscalculation, sets in… Man is a thinking reed but his great works are done when he is not calculating and thinking. “Childlikeness” has to be restored with long years of training in self-forgetfulness.

Page 34 – Judgements are our personal, ego reactions to the sights, sounds, feelings and thoughts within our experience

Page 39 – He directly experienced high backswing. Without thinking or analysing, he increased his awareness of that part of his swing. When the mind is free of any thought or judgement, it is still and acts like a perfect mirror. Then and only then can we know things as they are.

Page 44 – The third man, who is driving, is in the process of letting go of value judgements altogether. He plays the Inner Game, enjoying things as they are and doing what seems sensible at the moment

Page 55 – Almost all tennis players have experienced playing over their heads after watching championship tennis on television. The benefits to your game come not from analysing the strokes of top players, but from concentrating without thinking and simply letting yourself absorb the images before you.

Page 56 – No, the native tongue of Self 2 is imagery: sensory images. Movements are learned through visual and feeling images. So the three methods of programming I will discuss all involve communicating goal-oriented messages to Self 2 by images and “feelmages”.

Page 57 – Let it happen

Page 59 – It is important not only to understand intellectually the difference between letting it happen and making it happen, but to experience the difference. To experience the difference is to know the difference.

Page 60 – Don’t analyze it, just observe it carefully

Page 60 – Feel exactly what it’s like to move your racket in this new manner

Page 60 – Now focus your eyes and mind on the seam of the ball and let it happen

Page 68 – Simplicity is the key to consistency

Page 83

Step 1 – Observe Existing Behaviour, Non Judgmentally

Step 2 – Ask yourself to change, programming with and image and feel

Step 3 – Let it Happen!

Step 4 – Non-judgemental, Calm Observation of the Results Leading to Continuing Observation of Process until Behaviour Is in Automatic

Page 85 – I realized that there was a distinctly different kind of satisfaction gained in the two methods of hitting the ball. When you try hard to hit the ball correctly, and it goes well, you get a certain kind of ego satisfaction. You feel that you are in control, that you are master of the situation. But when you simply allow the serve to serve itself, it doesn’t seem as if you deserve the credit. It doesn’t feel as if it were you who hit the ball. You tend to feel good about the ability of your body, and possibly even amazed by the results, but the credit and sense of personal accomplishment are replaced by another kind of satisfaction. If a person is out on the court mainly to satisfy the desires and doubts of ego, it is likely that in spite of the lesser results, he will choose to let Self 1 play the major role. When a player experiences what it means to “let go” of Self 1 and allows Self 2 to play the game, not only do his shots tend to gain accuracy and power, but he feels an exhilarating sense of relaxation even during rapid movements

Page 92 – Watching the Ball – When there is love present, the mind is drawn irresistibly toward the object of love. It is effortless and relaxed, not tense and purposeful. When watching the seams of the ball, allow yourself to fall into relaxed concentration. Awareness of the flight of each ball as it moves toward you

Page 94 – Listening to the Ball – Reproduce that ‘crack’

Page 95 – Feeling – Increase one’s awareness of muscle feel. One is to take each of your strokes in slow motion. Each can be performed as an exercise, in which all attention is placed on the feel of the moving parts of the body. Get to know the feel of every inch of your stroke, every muscle in your body. Then when you increase your stroke speed to normal and begin hitting, you may be particularly aware of certain muscles

Page 98 – Awareness – Attention – Concentration – One-Pointed Concentration

Page 99 – He focuses his awareness in two dimensions, the here and the now – that is, in space and in time

Page 101 – My own device, for concentration during match, and one that has been effective for many of my students, is to focus attention on breathing. It does not mean intentionally controlling my breath

Page 103 – Match your stroke with your breathing, not your breathing with your strokes

Page 103 – To begin to understand my own lapses of concentration I had to know what I was really desiring, and it soon became clear to me that there were more desires operating in me on the court than simply to play tennis. In other words, tennis was not the only game I was playing on the court

Page 107 – People play different games then the game of tennis from Perfect to Compete to Image to Status to Togetherness to Husband to Health to Fun and to Higher Consciousness

Page 111 – In the New World, excellence is valued in all things. We live in an achievement-oriented society where a man is measured by his competence in various endeavours. Even before we received praise or blame for our first report card, we were loved or ignored for how well we performed our very first actions. From this pattern, one basic message came across loud, clear and often: you are a good person and worthy of respect only if you do things successfully.

It then follows that the intelligent, beautiful, and competent tend to regard themselves as better people

But who said that I am to be measured by how well I do things? In fact, who said that I should be measured at all? Who indeed?

Page 123 – Winning is overcoming obstacles to reach a goal, but the value in winning is only as great as the value of the goal reached. Reaching the goal itself may not be as valuable as the experience that can come in making a supreme effort to overcome the obstacles involved. The process can be more rewarding than the victory itself

So we arrive at the startling conclusion that true competition is identical with true cooperation. Each player tries his hardest to defeat the other, but in this use of competition it isn’t the other person we are defeating; it is simply a matter of overcoming the obstacles he presents. In true competition no person is defeated. Both players benefit by their efforts to overcome the obstacles presented by the other. Like two bulls butting their heads against one another, both grow stronger and each participates in the development of the other.

Page 124 – Today I play every point to win. It’s simple and it’s good. I don’t worry about winning or losing the match, but whether or not I am making the maximum effort during every point because I realize that that is where the true value lies. Maximum effort does not mean the super-exertion of Self 1. It means concentration, determination and trusting your body to “let it happen/’ It means maximum physical and mental effort.

Page 124 – Competition and cooperation become one

Page 125 – But one can control the effort he puts into winning. One can always do the best he can at any given moment. Since it is impossible to feel anxiety about an event that one can control, the mere awareness that you are using maximum effort to win each point will carry you past the problem of anxiety.

Page 129 – When a player comes to recognize, for instance, that learning to concentrate may be more valuable to him than a backhand, he shifts from being primarily a player of the outer game to being a player of the Inner Game. Then, instead of learning concentration to improve his tennis, he practices tennis to improve his concentration.

Page 130 – Concentration in tennis is fundamentally no different from the concentration needed to perform any task or even to enjoy a symphony; learning to let go of the habit of judging yourself on the basis of your backhand is no different from forgetting the habit of judging your child or boss; and learning to welcome obstacles in competition automatically increases one’s ability to find advantage in all the difficulties one meets in the course of one’s life. Hence, every inner gain applies immediately and automatically to the full range of one’s activities.

Page 131 – “Unfreakability” refers not to man’s propensity for burying his head in the sand at the sight of danger, but to the ability to see the true nature of what is happening around him and to be able to respond appropriately. This requires a mind which is clear because it is calm.

Page 133 – To repeat, calmness does not mean lack of concern; it means the ability to separate the real from the unreal and thereby to take sensible action.

Page 135 – The most important word in the English language I let. Let it be and let it happen

Page 136 – what is needed is not so much the effort to improve ourselves, as the effort to become more aware of the beauty of what we already are. As we begin to see and appreciate our essential selves, we manifest automatically that beauty and our true capacities, simply by letting them happen.

Page 136 – In respect to my own growth, whether in tennis or any other aspect of development, I have found it helpful to look at myself as the seed of a tree, with my entire potential already within me. as opposed to a building, which must have stories added to it to achieve a greater height.

Page 137 – I can understand that I need only use all the rain and sunshine that come my way, and cooperate fully with the seed’s impulse to develop and manifest what it already uniquely is.

Page 138 – Apparently, letting go of my grip on life released an energy which paradoxically made it possible for me to run with utter abandon toward life. “Abandon” is a good word to describe what happens to a tennis player who feels he has nothing to lose. He stops caring about the outcome and plays all out.

Page 138 – The essential art to be learned was shown to be that of becoming increasingly aware of things as they are. The ghosts of the past and the monsters of the future disappear when all one’s conscious energy is employed in understanding the present. Understanding the present moment, the only time when any action can occur, requires concentration of mind: the ability to keep the mind focused in the here and now.

Page 139 – When the light is dim because some of our energy is leaking into regrets over the past or fears of the future.

Page 139 – Concentration is said to be the master art because all other arts depend on it

Page 139 – Another man may own nothing beautiful but if his consciousness is attuned to beauty, he is rich because he will always be surrounded by beauty  

Page 141 – My own experience is that the true goal of the Inner Game is to be found within

Page 141 – When the lighthouse of the home port is in sight, the ship’s radar can be turned off and navigation aids set aside. What remains is to keep the lighthouse in sight and simply sail toward it. The biggest surprise in my search for the inner self was finding that it could be experienced by any human being whenever his desire for it was sufficiently sincere. This sincere desire alone will lead one to the discovery of a practical method for uncovering what could be called Self 3. Then the only instrument required is the human body itself in which consciousness is able to be aware of itself. The search is within, and the lighthouse can be seen no matter how near or far from home port one actually appears to be in terms of his own physical, emotional or spiritual development. Realizing this goal is within the capabilities of all of us and not the special privilege of any elite.

Final Thoughts: Great book that teaches you more about life then it does tennis. I really like the concept of tennis is game to make the rest of your life better, using it to live in the moment. This is a book that I will keep coming back to 8.5/10

A River Runs Through It. By Norman Maclean

Synopsis

A book about a family, it’s history and favourite hobby, fishing

A River Runs Through It

Page 3 – What is the chief end of man? And we answered together so one of us could carry on if the other forgot, Man’s chief end is to glorify God, and to enjoy Him forever. This always seemed to satisfy him, as indeed such a beautiful answer should have, and besides he was anxious to be on the hills where he could restore his soul and be filled again to overflowing for the evening sermon

Enjoy and glorify god, feel his love, and spread it. Do things with love, day in and day out

Page 11 – Perhaps we always wondered which of us was tougher, but, if boyhood questions aren’t answered before a certain point in time, they can’t never be raised again

Tensions remain and answered seldom

Page 33 – Sunrise is the time to feel that you will be able to find out how to help somebody close to you who you think needs help even if he doesn’t think so. At sunrise everything is luminous but not clear

Anything is possible at daybreak, as it is just before bed, its at the GUTS of it that requires work

Page 34 – Yet even in the loneliness of the canyon I knew there were others like me who had brothers they did not understand but wanted to help. We are probably those referred to as “our brothers keepers” possessed of one of the oldest and possibly one of the most futile and certainly one of the most haunting of instincts. It will not let us go.

To help those we care for the most, but we simply can’t, we can NOT do things for them

Page 44 – Many of us probably would be better fisherman if we did not spend so much time watching and waiting for the world to become perfect

Get on with it, the best time to strike is now

Page 50 – One of life’s great excitements is to stand somewhat apart from yourself and watch yourself softly becoming the author of something beautiful, even if its only a floating ash

Like cooking a beautiful meal or making something from scratch

Page 93 – Help, he said, is giving part of yourself to somebody who comes to accept it willingly and needs and badly. So it is, he said, that we can seldom help anybody. Either we don’t know what part to give or maybe we don’t like to give any part of ourselves. Then, more often than not, the part that is needed is not wanted. And even more often, we do not have the part that is needed. It is like the auto supply shop over in town where they always say, sorry, we are just out of that part.

It’s almost impossible to help people especially those we care about the most.

Page 117 – You can love completely without complete understanding

Unconditional love

Page 117 – Do you think I could of helped him? How can a question be answered that asks a lifetime of questions?

There is no answer to some of life’s most meaningful questions.

Page 119 – After you have finished your true stories sometime, why don’t you make up a story and the people to go with it? Only then will you understand what happened and why. And so it is those we live with and love and should know who elude us.

Like reaching out to touch something in a dream

Logging and Pimping and “Your Pal, Jim”

Page 127 – I suppose that an early stage in coming to hate someone is just running out of thing to talk about. Slowly we became silent, and silence itself is an enemy to friendship

So true, that tensions builds up

Page 128 – It was rule I had learned my first year working in the forest service- when exhausted and feeling sorry for yourself, at least change your socks

Always do something for yourself when feeling bad, change clothes, have a shower, go for a massage, do something to feel better.

Final Thoughts

 One of the best books I’ve read. A book about something that’s really about something deeper, loving and caring for those we most care about. It’s also about close male relationships as well as fly fishing in the North West USA. It’s a book that stays with me.  9/10

Vital Lies, Simple Truths. By Daniel Goleman

Synopsis – A book about how we lie to ourselves without realising, why we do it, how we do it and what it means.

Key Takeaways

Page 21 – The trade-off of a distorted awareness for a sense of security is, I believe, an organizing principle operating over many levels and realms of human life.

We can’t do all things all the time, we need to economise

 Page 35 – The first response to an alarm alerts us to the danger; the second stroke allows an obliviousness to pain

Avoiding danger is the priority of the brain

Page 43 – A lion’s bite is specific, it can be dealt with decisively: flee, or, if trapped, flood the brain with endorphins. But mental pain is elusive. Financial woes, an uncommunicative spouse, existential angst – none if these stressors necessarily yields to a single simple solution. Neither flight nor flight is satisfactory; the fight could make matters worse, the flight even more so.

The brain has not fully evolved to deal with the modern world

Page 43 – For those dangers and pains that are mental, selective attention offers relief.

Our brain protects us from the world without us even knowing

Page 52 – When the appraisal of threat has led to a stress response, this mean he is stewing, both in the brain’s stress hormones and in his worries about the threat. That stew is what we call anxiety.

Prolonged state of stress

Page 88 – Under certain circumstances, that unconscious awareness can be contacted and can communicate, still outside the persons main awareness. That special capacity Hilgard calls the ‘hidden observer’

Almost as if another person acted, think of when you have almost had an accident, you act before you realise it.

Page 98 – Information that threatens the self – that does not support the story one tell oneself – threatens self esteem. Such threats are a major source of anxiety.

Being put on a performance plan, your spouse leaving you, get dropped from the team, all these things can fracture your reality

Page 102 – Schemas change continually through life, as do images of the self. Past self-images leave their trace; no one has just one fully integrated self-image, a single harmonious version of the self.

We are different people in different situations  

Page 104 – Events that shape the lacuna result from such intense anxiety, and anxiety so suddenly precipitated, that it was impossible for the then rudimentary person to make any sense of, to develop any true grasp on, the circumstances which dictated the experience.

Our brains will create blackholes to avoid confronting the ugly truth

Page 111 – Lacunas take a toll: they make for a deficit in attention as great that caused by the anxiety they protect against.

It will cause issues in other areas if not dealt with, just like physical injuries

Page 112 – Every man has some reminiscences which he would not tell to everyone, but only to his friends. He has others which he would not reveal even to his friends, but only to himself, and that in secret. But finally, there are still others which a man is even afraid to tell himself, and every decent man has a considerable number of such things stored away. That is, one can even say that the more decent he is, the greater the number of such things in his mind.

Dostoyevsky

Page 113 – Repression is the quintessential lacuna; it lessens mental pain by attenuating awareness as does its close cousin, denial. This goes on in such a way that we have no awareness either of the operations that extinguish aspects of our experience or of the secondary operations that out the first.

These things happen outside our consciousness

Page 116 – According to Freud, the penalty for repression is repetition

We make the same mistakes again and again

Page 120 – Denial is the refusal to accept things as they are

This is why truth telling is so energising

Page 121 – Isolation is partial blanking out of experience, a semi-denial. An unpleasant event not repressed, but the feelings it evokes are. In that way the details can remain in awareness but cleansed of their aversive tone. Attention fixes on the facts, while blanking out the related feelings.

Think about how prisoners of concentration camps dealt with their experience

Page 121 – Rationalization allows the denial of ones true motives by covering over unpleasant impulses with a cloak of reasonableness.

Is rationalization a form of lying?  

Page 127 – In sum, the ego’s task is to control the flow of information in order to deflect anxiety, the architecture of self is shaped in large degree by the set of lacunas, it favours to censor and guide information flow.

All these mechanisms are set up to protect ourselves

Page 174 – I have never come across a family that does not draw a line somewhere as to what may be put into words and what words it may be put into. That is, each family has its signature pattern of what aspects of shared experience can be open, what must be closed and denied. When experience is openly shared, the family also has a sanctioned language for what may be said about it 

These things operate at a group level

Final Thoughts – This book is very insightful but what can you do about it? If these mechanisms are so effective, then is simply knowing about it enough to stop it? Do you even want to stop it? Fascinating. 8/10

Think and Grow Rich. By Napoleon Hill

Synopsis ­­– If you can believe you can achieve it. This book is about the power of thought in achieving your personal and monetary goals.

Key Takeaways

Page 34 – “Every failure brings with it the seed of an equivalent success”

Learn and grow

Page 36 – “No one is ever defeated until defeat has been accepted as a reality”

If you keep going, how can you lose?

Page 48 – “Repetition of affirmation of orders to your subconscious mind is the only known method of voluntary development of the emotion of faith”

Just like in Pimp, only play the good pictures in your mind

Page 54 –

“If you think you are beaten, you are
If you think you dare not, you don’t,
If you like to win, but you think you can’t
It is almost certain you won’t.

If you think you’ll lose, you’re lost
For out of the world we find,
Success begins with a fellow’s will
It’s all in the state of mind.

If you think you are outclassed, you are
You’ve got to think high to rise,
You’ve got to be sure of yourself before
You can ever win a prize.

Life’s battles don’t always go
To the stronger or faster man,
But soon or late the man who wins
Is the man WHO THINKS HE CAN!”

I need to share poetry with my kids

Page 67 – “Your subconscious mind recognizes and acts upon ONLY thoughts which have been well-mixed with emotion or feeling.”

Feel it, believe it and do it

Page 136 – “It has been said that man can create anything which he can imagine”

All things start in your mind

Page 137 – “Man’s only limitation, within reason, lies in his development and use of his imagination”

Keep the creative juices flowing

Page 138 – “The creative faculty becomes more alert, more receptive to vibrations from the sources mentioned, on proportion to its development through use”

Good vibes out, good vibes in

Page 140 – “Matter and energy”

Energy follow that energy and make things happen with it.

Page 141 – “Ideas are the beginning points of all fortunes”

This is true, but also remember that ideas are cheap

Page 146 – “That definiteness of purpose is the starting point from which one must begin”

Once you decide, things will become clear

Page 149 – “God seems to throw Himself on the side of the man who know exactly what he wants, if he is determined to get just that”

The universe will react you, decide and act

Page 159 – “No man is ever whipped, until he quits – in his own mind”

Never ever give up

Final Thoughts – I loved this book when I first read it, on the re read it wasn’t as good as first thought. Overall its worth a read and it has some great points. Also you can see so much of the self-help and the motivation industry is based on it. 7/10

Surely Your Joking Mr Feyman. By Richard Feyman

Synopsis – A biography about a scientist life and their view on the world, but not an already scientist, one with a different take on things.

Key Takeaways

Page 23 – They were completely comfortable with each other. It was my problem to be comfortable. It was a wonderful experience.

You are responsible for your own experience

Page 24 – I don’t know what’s the matter with people: they don’t learn by understanding; they learn by some other way- by rote, or something. Their knowledge is so fragile!

The learn the right way, via understanding

 Page 123 – Maybe I was fooling myself, but I was surprised how I didn’t feel what I thought people would expect to feel under the circumstances. I wasn’t delighted, but I didn’t feel terribly upset, perhaps because I had known for several years that something like this was going to happen.

We all mourn in our own way

Page 125 – And Von Neumann gave me an interesting idea, that you don’t have to be responsible for the world that you are in. So I have developed a very powerful sense of social irresponsibility as a result of Von Neumann advice.

We do our best and that’s it, we can’t be responsible for the outcome

Page 128 – And I would go along and I would see people building a bridge, or they’d be making a new road, and I thought, they’re crazy, they just don’t understand, they don’t understand. Why are they making new things? It’s so useless. But, fortunately, it’s been useless for almost forty years now, hasn’t it? So I’ve been wrong about it being useless making bridges and I’m glad those other people had the sense to go ahead.

Just keep going and do all the work you can

Page 161 – I don’t believe I can really do without teaching, the reason is, I have to have something so that when I do not have any ideas and I’m not getting anywhere I can say to myself. “At least I’m living; at least I’m doing something; I’m making some contribution” – it’s just psychological.

Always have something to do

 Page 168 – And then I thought to myself, “You know, what they think of you is so fantastic, it’s impossible to live up to it. You have no responsibility to live up to it!” It was a brilliant idea; You have no responsibility to live up to what other people think you ought to accomplish, I have no responsibility to be like they expect me to be. It’s their mistake, not my failing. I am what I am, and if they expected me to be good and they’re offering me some money for it, its their hard luck.

As the above, just do what you can

Page 170 – It was effortless. It was easy to play with these things. It was like uncorking a bottle; Everything flowed out effortlessly. I almost tried to resist it! There was no importance to what I was doing, but ultimately there was. The diagrams and the whole busines that I go the Nobel Prize for came from that piddling around with the wobbling plate.

Freedom from expectations will help free your mind and do your best work

Page 198 – So I learned how to look at life in a way that’s different from the way it is where I come from. First, they weren’t in the same hurry that I was. And second, if its better for you, never mind! So I gave the lectures in the morning and enjoyed the beach in the afternoon.

Live your life in a way that works for you.

Final Thoughts – A great book about how someone with immense intelligence had fun and enjoyed their life. It has great soties and even better lessons. For example; Look for understanding, have fun with things and do what you enjoy, don’t feel responsible for everything and do what suits you. 8/10

The Effective Executive. By Peter Drucker

Synopsis

A book about how to be a better executive, an executive being anyone who makes decisions, where value is measured by outcome not effort, IE most corporate employees today. Please note, I will not add my own notes to the quotes in the below post.

Key Takeaways

Preface

But to be effective also does not require special gifts, special aptitude, or special training.  I have not come across a single natural executive who was born effective. All the effective ones have had to learn to be effective. Effectiveness can be learned, and it also has to be learned.

Chapter 1 –  Effectiveness can be learned

Page 1

To be effective is the job of the executive

Brilliant men are often strikingly ineffectual, they fail to realize that the brilliant insight is not by itself achievement

Intelligence, imagination, and knowledge are essential resources, but only effectiveness converts them into results

Page 2

For manual work, we need only efficiency; that is, the ability to do things right rather than the ability to get the right things done

Page 3

Working on the right things is what make knowledge work effective. This is not capable of being measured by any of the yardsticks for manual work

Page 4

One can never be sure what the knowledge worker thinks – and yet thinking is his specific work, it is his doing

The motivation of the knowledge worker depends on his being effective, on his being able to achieve

The knowledge worker does not produce something that is effective by itself

The greatest wisdom not applied to action and behaviour is meaningless data

Page 5

And productivity for the knowledge worker means the ability to get the right things done. It means effectiveness

Every knowledge worker in modern organization is an executive if, by virtue of his position or knowledge, he is responsible for contribution that materially affects the capacity of the organization to perform and to obtain results

Page 6

In a guerrilla war, every man is an executive

Page 7

Knowledge work is defined by its results

Page 8

For the authority of knowledge is surely as legitimate as the authority of position

Page 9

The realities of the executive situation both demand effectiveness from him and make effectiveness exceedingly difficult to achieve

Page 10

In his situation there are four major realities over which the executive has no control, he has to co-operate with the inevitable but everyone of these realities exerts pressure toward non-results and non-performance.

  1. The effective executives time tends to belong to everybody else.
  2. Executives are forced to keep on operating unless they take positive action to change the reality in which they live and work. If the executive lets the flow of events determine what he does, what he works on and what he takes seriously, he will fritter himself away operating. What the executive needs are criteria which enable him to work on the truly important, that is on contributions and results, even though the criteria are not found in the flow of events.
  3. The third reality pushing the executive toward ineffectiveness is that he is within an organization. This means that he is effective only when other people make use of what he contributes. Unless the executive can reach these people, can make his contribution effective for them and their work, he has no effectiveness at all
  4. The executive is within an organization, but the organization is an abstraction. The decision makers can be on the outside and inside the organisations (executives and customers). At the most, results are co-determined, as for instance in warfare, where the outcome is the result of the actions and decisions of both armies.

Page 16

The truly important events on the outside are not the trends. They are changes in the trends, these determine ultimately success or failure of an organization and its efforts

Page 17

Executives of necessity live and work within the organisation. Unless they make conscious efforts to perceive the outside, the inside may blind them to the true reality

Page 20

There is no effective personality. Effective executives in other words, differ as widely as physicians, high school teachers and violinists

Page 21

Effectiveness in other words is a habit, that is a complex of practices. And practices can always be learned.  Practices one learns by practising and practising and practising again

Page 22

What is needed in effectives is competency

  1. Effective executives know where their time goes
  2. Effective executives focus on outward contribution. They gear their efforts to results rather than to work
  3. Effective executives build on strengths – their own strengths, the strengths of their superiors, colleagues, and subordinates. They do not start out with the thing they can’t do.
  4. Effective executives concentrate on the few major areas where superior performance will produce outstanding results
  5. Effective executives finally makes effective decisions. They know that an effective decision is always a judgement based on dissenting opinions. And they know to make many fast decisions means to make the wrong decisions. What is needed is the right strategy rather than razzle-dazzle tactics.

Chapter 2 – Know Thy Time

Page 24

Effective executives, in my observation, do no start with their tasks. They start with their time. And they do not start out with planning. They start by finding out where their time actually goes.

  1. Record time
  2. Manage time
  3. Console time

Time is a unique resource

Page 25

One cannot rent, hire buy or otherwise obtain more time

The supply of time is totally inelastic. No matter how high the demand, the supply will not go up. Time is totally perishable and cannot be stored

Nothing perhaps distinguishes the effective as much as their tender loving care of time

Page 26

The effective executive must first know where his time goes

Any executive, whether he is a manager or not, has to spend a great deal of his time on things that do not contribute at all.

Page 27

In every executive job, a large part of the time must therefore be wasted on things which apparently have to be done, contribute nothing or little.

To spend in one stretch less then this minimum amount of required time is sheer waste. One accomplishes nothing and must begin all over again.

Page 28

To be effective, every knowledge worker and especially every executive, therefore needs to be able to dispose of time in large chunks

Most people are time wasters

The manager who thinks that he can discuss the plans, direction, and performance of one of his subordinates in fifteen minutes – and many managers believe this – is just deceiving himself

The knowledge worker must be focused on the results and performance goals of the entire organization to have any results and performance at all

Good senior executives take the time out on a regular schedule to ask

What should we at the head of this organization know about your works?

What do you want to tell me regarding this organization?

Where do you see opportunities we do not exploit?

Where do you see dangers to which we are still blind?

And, altogether, what do you want to know from me about the organization?

Page 30

The larger the organization, therefore, the less actual time the executive will have. The more important will it be for him to know where his time goes and to manage the little time at his disposal

Fast personnel decisions are likely to be wrong decisions. The time quantum of the good personnel decision is amazingly large.

But without exception they make personnel decisions slowly and the make them several time before the really commit themselves.

Page 31

All effective executives have learned that they must give several hours of continuous and uninterrupted thought to decisions on people if they hope to come up with the right answer

Page 32

People decisions are time consuming

What one does not have in one’s feet, one’s got to have in one’s head

Page 33

But one cannot even think of managing ones time unless one first knows where it goes

The difference between time use and time waste is effectiveness and results

The first step toward executive effectiveness is therefore to record actual time

Time use does improve with practice, but only constant efforts at managing time can prevent drifting

One must find the non-productive, time wasting activities and get rid of them if one possibly can

Page 34

  1. First one tries to identify and eliminate the things that need not be done at all, the things that are purely waste of time without any results
  2. The next question is: ‘Which of the activities on my time log could be done by somebody else just as well, if not better?
  3. A common cause of time waste is largely under the executive’s control and can be eliminated by him. That is the time of others he himself wastes

Page 39

  1. Time waster 1 – Identify time-waste which follow from lack of system or foresight. The symptom to look for is the recurrent ‘crisis’, the crisis comes back year after year. A crisis that recurs a second time is a crisis that must not occur gain

The definition of a ‘routine’ is that it makes unskilled people without judgement capable of doing what it took near genius to do before

Page 40

The recurrent crisis is simply a symptom of slovenliness and laziness

A well-managed plant is a quiet plant, nothing exciting happens because all the crises have been anticipated and have been converted into routine

Similarly, a well-managed organization is dull organizations

  • Time waster 2 – Time wasting often results from overstaffing

Page 41

One symptom of overstaffing is if the manager spends a significant portion of his time on human relation, people are getting into each other’s way

  • Time waster 3 – Another common timewaster is mal-organization. Its symptom is an excess of meetings

Page 42

We meet because the knowledge and experience needed in a specific situation are not available in one head but must be pieced together out of the experience and knowledge of several people

Too many meetings are a result of malorganization

As a rule, meetings should never be allowed to become the main demand on an executive’s time

Page 44

  • Time waster 4 – The last major time waster is malfunction in information

Equally common is information in the wrong form

The accountant has all the information but no one thought of telling him what is needed

Page 45

The key question is how much discretionary time can the effective executive consolidate to really contribute?

Page 46

60–90-minute blocks are needed without interruption to understand and accomplish a great many things

Page 47

Some suggestion to console time are, work from home one day a week, schedule all meetings/sessions for two days a week to work through major issues, schedule a daily work period at home in the morning. Waking up early and working through big problems proves to be very effective.

Page 49

Know Thyself is the old prescription for Wisdom, is almost impossibly difficult for mortal men. But everyone can follow the injunction, know thy time, if he wants to, and be well on the road toward contribution and effectiveness

Chapter 3 – What can I contribute?

Page 50

The effective executive focuses on contribution. He looks up from his work and outward toward goals. He asks: What can I contribute that will significantly affect the performance and the results of the institution I serve? His stress is on responsibility.

The focus on contribution is the key to effectiveness

The great majority of executives tend to focus downward. They are occupied with efforts rather than with results. They worry over what the organisation and their superiors owe them and should do for them. And they are conscious above all of the authority they should have. As a result, they render themselves ineffectual.

Page 51

The man who focuses on efforts and who stresses his downward authority is a subordinate no matter how exalted his title and rank. But the man who focuses on contribution and who takes responsibility for results no matter how junior is in the most literal sense of the phrase top management. He holds himself accountable for the performance of the whole.

The focus on contribution turns the executive attention away from his own speciality, his own narrow skill, his own department and toward the performance of the whole

Page 52

What can I contribute?

To ask: What can I contribute? Is to look for the unused potential in the job

Page 53

For every organization needs performance in three major areas: it needs direct results; building of values and their reaffirmation and building and developing people for tomorrow

Direct results always come first. In the care and feeding of an organization they play the role of calories play in the nutrition of the human body. But any organization also needs a commitment to values and their constant reaffirmation as a human body needs vitamins and minerals

Value commitments, like results are not unambiguous

An organization that is not capable of perpetuating itself has failed

Page 54

An organization which just perpetuates today’s level of vision excellence and accomplishment has lost the capacity to adapt

Page 55

Are we really making the best contribution to the purpose of this hospital?

Commitment to contribution is commitment to responsible effectiveness. Without it, a man short changes himself, deprives his organisation and cheats the people he works with

The executive who keeps on doing what he has done successfully before he moved is almost bound to fail

Page 56

What can I and no one else do which, if done really well, would make a real difference to this company?

Page 58

Knowledge workers do not produce a thing. They produce ideas, information and concepts

This means that he must think through who is to use his output and what the user needs to know and to understand to be able to make productive the fragment the specialist produces

Page 59

If a man wants to be an executive, that is, if he wants to be considered responsible for his contribution, he must concern himself with the usability of his ‘product’ that is, his knowledge.

What contribution from me do you require to make your contribution to the organization? When do you need this and how do you need it and what form?

Page 60

They have good human relations because they focus on contribution

Page 61

The focus on contribution, by itself supplies the four basic requirements of effective human relations

  • Communication
  • Teamwork
  • Self-development
  • Development of others

Page 62

Communication is practically impossible if they are based on the downward relationship

But the executive who takes responsibility for contribution in their own work will as rule demand that their subordinates take responsibility too. They will tend to ask their men “What are the contributions for which this organization and I, your superior, should hold you accountable? What should we expect of you? What is the best utilization of your knowledge and your ability?

Page 63

The focus on contribution leads to communications sideways and thereby makes teamwork possible

 Who must use my output for it to become effective?

Page 64

They must consider themselves responsible for their own competence and for the standards of their work

Only direct contact, whether by voice or by written word, can communicate

Individual self-development in large measure depends on the focus on contribution

Page 65

What is the most important contribution I can make to the performance of this organization?  Asks in in effect, “what self development do I need? What knowledge and skill do I need? What knowledge and skill do I have to acquire to make the contribution I should be making? What strength do I have to put to work? What standards do I have to set myself?

We know very little about self-development. But we do know one thing: people in general, and knowledge workers in particular grow according to the demands they make on themselves.

They grow according to what they consider to be achievement and attainment.

If they demand little of themselves, they will remain stunted.

If they demand a good deal of themselves, they will grow to giant stature – without any more effort than is expended by the nonachievers

Why are we having this meeting: do we want a decision, do we want to inform, or de we want to make clear to ourselves what we should be doing?

Insist the meeting serve the contribution to which they have committed themselves

Page 66

The effective man always states at the outset of a meeting this specific purpose and contribution it is to achieve

The focus on contribution imposes an organizing principle. It imposes relevance on events

Chapter 4 – Making Strength Productive

Page 67

The effective executive fills positions and promotes on the basis of what a man can do. He does not make staffing decision to minimize weakness but to maximize strength

Page 68

Whoever tries to place a man or staff on an organization to avoid weakness will end up at best with mediocrity

Page 69

Here lies a man who knew how to bring into his service men better than he was himself

Effective executives know that their subordinates are paid to perform and not to please their superiors

Effective executives ask “what does he contribute?”

Page 70

Human excellence can only be achieved in area, or at the most in very few

To staff from what there is not and to focus on weakness is wasteful – a misuse if not abuse, of the human resource

Organization is the specific instrument to make human strengths rebound to performance while human weakness is neutralized and largely rendered harmless

One cannot hire a hand – the whole man always come with it

Page 71

The main cause is that the immediate task of the executive is not to place a man, it is to fill a job. The tendency is therefore to start out with the job as being a part of the order of nature. Then one looks for a man to fill the job. It is only too easy to be misled this way into looking for the ‘least misfit” – the one man who leaves least to be desired. And this is invariably the mediocrity

Page 72

Jobs have to be objective that is, determined by task rather than personality

Jobs in an organization are interdependent and interlocked

To tolerate diversity, relationships must be task focused rather than personality-focused

Page 73

Structuring jobs to fit personality is almost a certain to lead to favouritism and conformity

Picking people for they can do rather than on personal likes or dislikes, they seek performance not conformance. To insure this outcome, they keep a distance between themselves and their close colleagues

FDR had no friends in cabinet, by staying aloof they were able to build teams of great diversity but also of strength

Page 74

Four rules of staffing

  1. They do not start with the assumption that jobs are created by nature or by God. And they are therefore forever on guard against the impossible job that are not fit for human beings.

The rule is simple, any job that has defeated two or three men in succession even though each had performed well in his previous assignments, must be assumed unfit for human beings. The effective executive therefore first makes sure that the job is well designed

  • The second rule for staffing from strength is to make each job demanding and big. The most important thing is to find out is what he really can do. The first job should therefore enable him to test both himself and the organization. Am I in the right work and in the right place for my strengths to tell?
  • Effective executives know that they have to start with what a man can do rather than with what a job requires. Always look for strength. All one can measure is performance. Ask four questions
    • What has he done well?
    • What, therefore, is he likely to be able to do well?
    • What does he have to learn or to acquire to be able to get the full benefit from his strength?
    • If I had a son or daughter would I be willing to have him or her work under this person?
      • If yes, why?
      • If no, why?

It begins with that a man can do. Weaknesses are limitations to the full use of his strengths and to his own achievement, effectiveness and accomplishment. By itself character does not accomplish anything. But its absence faults everything else. Here, therefore, is the one area where weakness is a disqualification in itself rather than a limitation in performance capacity and strength

  • The effective executive knows that to get strength one must put up with weakness. He sees the inevitable, all the traits that are not relevant, all the traits that have nothing to do with the specific task for which a man has been called on the stage of history. Does this man have strength in one major area? And is this strength relevant to the task? If he achieves excellence in this one area, will it make a significant difference? This also implies that they focus on opportunity in their staffing – no on problems. Altogether it must be an unbreakable rule to promote the man who by the test of performance is best qualified for the job to be filled. The man of proven performance has earned the opportunity. Conversely, it is the duty of the executive to remove ruthlessly anyone – and especially any manager – who consistently fails to perform with high distinction

Page 84

All that matters is that you know that this man is not equal to the task. Where his replacement comes from is the next question

Page 85

What can this man do? Was his constant question. And if a man could do something, his lacks became secondary

Page 86

Every people-decision is a gamble, by basing it on what a man can do, it becomes at least a rational gamble

But even more does he owe it to the human beings over whom he exercises authority to help the get the most out of whatever strength that they may have

Page 87

Staffing for strength is thus essential to the executives own effectiveness and to that of his organization but equally to individual and society in a world of knowledge work

 The secret is that effective executives make the strengths of the boss productive

Conversely, there is nothing as conducive to success as a successful and rapidly promoted superior

Page 88

The effective executive accepts that the boss is human

How does your boss learn? What can the new boss do? These are the questions the effective executive asks himself

Page 89

Building on strength to make weakness irrelevant. Few things make an executive as effective as building on the strengths of his superior

Page 90

The assertion that somebody else will not want me do anything should always be suspected as a cover up for inertia. But even where the situation does set limitations – and everyone lives and works within rather stringent limitation – there are usually important, meaningful, pertinent things that can be done.

The effective executive looks for them. If he starts out with the question: What can I do? He is almost certain to find that he can do is much more then he has time and resources for.

Page 91

Altogether the effective executive tries to be himself; he does not pretend to be someone else. He looks at his own performance and his own results and tries to discern a pattern

Page 92

But temperament is also a factor in accomplishment and a big one

Making strength productive is as much an attitude as it is a practise. But it can be improved with practice

In every area of effectiveness within an organization, one feeds the opportunities and starves the problem

Page 93

In human affairs, in other words, the distance between the leaders and the average is a constant. If leadership performance is high, the average will go up

The task of an executive is not to change human beings. Rather, as the Bible tell us in the Parable of Talents, the task is to multiply performance capacity of the whole by putting to use whatever strength, whatever health, whatever aspiration there is in individuals

First Things First

Page 94

Effective executives do first things and they do one thing at a time

The need to concentrate is grounded both in the nature of the executive job and in man

Page 95

But concentration is dictated also by the fact that most of us find it hard enough to do well even one thing at a time, let alone two

For doing one thing, at a time means doing it fast. The more one can concentrate time, effort and resources, the greater number and diversity of tasks one can actually perform

Page 97

They do only one thing at a time. As a result, they need much less time in the end than the rest of us

The people who get nothing done often work a great deal harder

The unexpected is indeed the only thing one can confidently expect

Effective executives do not race, they set an easy pace and keep going steadily

They concentrate – their own time and energy as well as that of their organization – on doing one thing at a time, and on doing first things first.

One important question around what to start is “If we did not already do this, would we go into it now?”

Page 98

But one can at least try to limit one’s servitude to the past by cutting out those inherited activities and tasks that have ceased to promise results

Page 99

There is serious need for a new principle of effective administration under which every act, every agency, and every programme of government is conceived as temporary, and as expiring automatically after a fixed number of years – maybe ten – unless specifically prolonged by new legislation following careful outside study of the programme, its results, and its contributions

Page 100

The only effective means for bailing out the new are people who have proven their capacity to perform. Such people are always already busier than they should be. Unless one relives one of them by his present burden, one cannot expect him to take on the new task.

Page 101

An organization needs to bring in fresh people with a fresh point of view fairly often. It only promotes from within it soon becomes inbred and eventually sterile. But if possible, one does not bring in the newcomers where the risk is exorbitant, that is into the top executive positions or into leadership of an important new activity. One brings them in just below the top and into an activity that is already defined and reasonably well understood

Page 102

A decision therefore has to be made which task deserves priority and which are of less importance

If the pressures rather than the executive are allowed to make the decision, the important tasks will predictably sacrificed, pressures always favour yesterday

Page 103

For the pressures always favour what goes on inside. They always favour what has happened over the future, the crisis over the opportunity, the immediate and visible over the real, and the urgent over the relevant

The reason why so few executives concentrate is the difficulty and deciding what tasks not to tackle and sticking to the decision

Page 104

Courage rather than analysis dictates the truly important rule for identifying priorities

  • Pick the future as against the past
  • Focus on opportunity rather than on problem
  • Choose your own direction, rather than climb on the bandwagon
  • Aim  high, aim for something that will make a difference rather than for come thing that is safe and easy to do

Page 105

Achievement goes to the people who pick their research priorities by the opportunity and who consider other criteria only as qualifiers rather than as detriments

In business similarly, the successful companies are not those that work at developing new products for their existing line but those that aim at innovating new technologies or new businesses

It is more productive to convert an opportunity into results than to solve a problem – which only restores the equilibrium of yesterday

The effective executive does not, in other words, truly commit himself beyond the one task he concentrates on right now. Then he reviews the situation and pick the next one task that now comes first

Concentration, that is the courage to impose on one time and events his own decision as to what really matter and comes first, is the executives only hope of becoming master of time and events instead of their whipping boy

The Elements of Decision-making

Page 106

Making decisions is the specific executive task

Effective executives do not make a great many decisions. They concentrate on the important ones

They want to know what the decision is all about and what the underlying realities are which it must satisfy. They want impact rather than technique; they want to be sound rather than clever

Page 107

They know that the most time-consuming step in the process is not making the decision but putting it into effect

This means that, while the effective decision itself is based on the highest level of conceptual understanding, the action to carry it out should be as close as possible to the working level and as simple as possible

Page 113

The big business, Sloan saw needs unity of direction and central control. It needs its own management with real powers. But it equally needs energy, enthusiasm, and strength in operations

They tried to think through what the decision was all about, and they tried to develop a principle for dealing with it. Their decisions, were, in other words, strategies, rather than adaptations to the apparent needs of the moment. They all innovated. They were all highly controversial. Indeed, all five decisions went directly to counter to what “everybody knew” at the time

Page 114

Alfred Sloan’s decentralisation was completely unacceptable at the time and seemed to fly in the face of everything everybody “knew”

Page 115

The elements of the effective decision process

  1. The clear realization the problem was generic and could only be solved through a decision which established a rule, a principle
  2. The definition of the specification which the answer to the problem had to satisfy
  3. The thinking through what is right, that is, the solution which will fully satisfy the specifications before attention is given to the compromises, adaptations and concessions needed to make the decision acceptable
  4. The building into the decision of the action to carry it out
  5. The feedback that which test the validity and effectiveness of the decision against the actual course of events

The generic always must be answered through a rule, a principle. The exceptional can only be handled as such and as it comes.

Page 116

Truly unique events are rare, however. Whenever one appears one must ask; is this a true exception or only the first manifestation of a new genus?

Page 117

All events but the truly unique require a generic solution. They require a rule, a policy, a principle.

By far the most common mistake is to treat a generic situation as if it were a series of unique events.

Page 120

He always assumes that the event that clamours for his attention is in reality a symptom. He looks for the true problem. He is not content with doctoring the symptom alone.

The effective decision maker always tries to put his solution on the highest possible conceptual level.

He asks himself every time, “if I had to live with this for a long time, would I be willing to? If the answer is no he keeps working to find a more general, more conceptual, a more comprehensive solution, one which establishes the right principle”

Page 121

Clear specification as to what the decision must accomplish. What are the objectives the decision must reach?

Page 122

The more concisely and clearly boundary conditions are stated, the greater likelihood that the decision will indeed be an effective one and will accomplish what it set out to do

What is the minimum needed to resolve this problem?

Page 123

The effective executive knows that decision that does not satisfy the boundary conditions is ineffectual and inappropriate

Page 125

Everyone can make the wrong decision, but no one needs to make a decision which on its face, falls short of satisfying the boundary conditions

Page 126

One must start with what is right rather than what is acceptable precisely because one always has to compromise in the end. But if one does not know what is right to satisfy the specifications and boundary conditions, one cannot distinguish between the right compromise and the wrong compromise – and will end up by making the wrong compromise

You can not make the right compromise unless you first know what right is.

There are different kinds of compromise, one kind of compromise is “half a loaf is better than no bread” and there is the story of the Judgement of Solomon

Page 127

One gains nothing in the other words by starting out with the question. “What is acceptable?”

Converting the decision into action is the fourth major element in the decision-process.

In fact, no decision has been made unless carrying it out in specific steps has become someone’s work assignment and responsibility. Until then, there are only good intentions

Converting a decision into action requires answering several distinct questions

  1. Who has to know of this decision?
  2. What action has to be taken?
  3. Who is to take it?
  4. What does the action have to be so that the people who have to do it, can do it?

The first and last of these are too often overlooked – with dire results.

Page 129

One must make sure that their incentives/measurements/standards are changed simultaneously to match the new decision otherwise people will get caught in the paralysing internal emotional conflict.

Page 130

Finally a feedback has to be built into the decision to provide continuous testing, against actual events, of the expectations that underlie the decisions

Decisions are made by men. Men are fallible, at their best their works do not last long. Even the best decision has a high probability of being wrong. Even the most effective one eventually become obsolete

Page 133

Failure to go out and look is the typical reason for persisting in a course of action long after it has ceased to be appropriate or even rational

Unless one builds feedback around direct exposure to reality – unless one disciplines oneself to go out and look – one condemns oneself to a sterile dogmatism and with it to ineffectiveness

Effective Decisions

Page 134

A decision is a judgement. It is a choice between alternatives. It is rarely a choice between right and wrong. It is at best a choice between ‘almost right’ and ‘probably wrong’

Page 135

The only rigorous method, the only one that enables us to test an opinion against reality, is based on the clear recognition that opinions come first – and that this is the way it should be.

What do we have to know to test the validity of this hypothesis?

Page 136

Whenever one analyses the way a truly great, a truly right, decision has been reached, one finds that a great deal of work and thought went into finding the appropriate measurement. The effective decision-maker assumes that the traditional measurement is not the right measurement…The traditional measurement reflects yesterday’s decision. That there is a need for a new one normally indicates that the measure is no longer relevant

Page 137

The averages serve the purposes of the insurance company, but they are meaningless, indeed misleading, for personnel management decisions

Number of accidents per car are useless for car companies, severity of bodily injuries resulting from accidents is a useful metric

Page 138

Whenever one must judge, one must have alternatives, among which one can choose. A judgement in which one can only say ‘yes’ and ‘no’ is no judgement at all. Only if there are alternatives can one hope to get insight into what is truly at stake.

Effective executives therefore insist on alternatives of measurement – so that they can choose the one appropriate one.

The effective executive will insist on having the same investment decision calculated in all three ways – to be able to say at the end; ‘this measurement is appropriate to this decision”

Unless one has considered alternatives, one has a closed mind

The first rule in decision-making is that one does not decide unless there is disagreement

Page 139

Without disagreement there cannot be understanding

Do not become a prisoner of somebody’s preconceived conclusions

Page 140

The only way to break out of the prison of special pleading and preconceived notions is to make sure of argued, documented, thought-through disagreements

Secondly, disagreement alone can provide alternatives to a decision. And a decision without an alternative is a desperate gambler throw, no matter how carefully thought through it might be.

Page 142

Above all, disagreement is needed to stimulate the imagination.

In all matters of true uncertainty such as the executive deals with – whether his sphere is political, economic, social, or militarily – one needs creative solutions which create a new situation

Disagreement, especially if forced to be reasoned, thought through, documented, is the most effective stimulus we know

Page 143

The effective executive is concerned first with understanding. Only then does he even think about who is right and who is wrong

Page 145

He uses conflict of opinion as his toll to make sure all major aspects of an important matter are looked at carefully

Is a decision necessary? One alternative is always the alternative of doing nothing

Page 146

Nor does one interfere if the condition, while annoying, is of no importance and unlikely to make any difference anyhow.

Two guidelines

  • Act if on balance the benefits greatly outweigh cost and risk
  • Act of do not act, but do not ‘hedge’ or compromise

Page 147

The surgeon who takes out half an appendix risks as much infection or shock as if he did the whole job

Most effective decisions are distasteful

“Lets make another study” is the cowards way, and the coward dies a thousand deaths, the brave man but once

Do not waste the time of good people to cover up indecision

Pay attention to your inner voice, ‘daimon’

Page 148

Always stop when things seem out of focus

Nine times out of ten the uneasiness turns out to be some silly detail. But the tenth time one suddenly realizes that one has overlooked the most important fact in the problem, has made an elementary blunder or has misjudged altogether.

Executives are not paid for doing things they like to do. They are being paid for getting the right things done, most of all the specific task, then making of effective decisions.

Conclusion

Page 155

This book rests on two premises

  • The executive job is to be effective
  • Effectiveness can be learned

Effectiveness is a self-discipline

Page 156

  1. The first step toward effectiveness is a procedure; recording where the time goes
  2. Focus on outward contribution, think why you are on the pay roll, have high demand on yourself, your goals and the organizations
  3. Making strengths productive
  4. First things first, develop a more enduring leadership, one of dedication, determination, and serious purpose.
  5. Make effective decisions using a solid framework

Page 160

Learn to feed opportunities and starve problems. Work on making your strengths productive and concentrate and set priorities instead of trying to do everything

Final Thoughts – This is a great book, not only about being effective at work but in life. Not wasting time, focus on what matters, use your skills for the greater good, take action on the things that matter and make sound decisions. 10/10

Xenophon’s Cyrus The Great; The Arts of Leadership and War. By Larry Hedrick

Synopsis: The story of how a prince of a province rose to become a king of an empire. The book goes through Cyrus’s philosophies and values and how this leads to his success.

Key Takeaways

Book 1

I was the product of a strict warrior culture, and I learned early on to suppress my emotions and respond to danger with great composure

Never make a promise when your happy and a decision when your angry

I conquered far more by the force of my mental powers than by the strength of my sinews

Mind over muscle

The full extent of my plans would gradually be unfolded to my officers. To shock them with the whole truth at the beginning would cause too many of them to shy away.

Play your cards right

Book 3

Rather than welcoming me like a gentleman and recalling the past that we had shared, Syazarees immediately started asking questions that revealed his doubts and fears. First he demanded to know how great an army I had brought with me.

In times of crisis, be calm

I deeply believe that leaders, whatever their profession, are wrong to allow distinction of rank to flourish are wrong to allow distinctions of rank to flourish within their organizations. Living together on equal terms helps people develop deeper bonds and creates a common conscience.

Look to limit any tension caused by the rank

Book 4

There was only one remedy for this situation, in action against the enemy, both officer and commoners would find release from their hardening rivalries. I harboured no doubt that imminent danger would reawaken their dense of fellowship

Common hardship makes teams closer

As the critical hour approached everyone would cast away all thoughts of rivalry, and they would see their comrades for what they really were – their closet allies in the struggle for the common good.

The battle separates the men from the boys

Book 5

For a moment I wondered whether I could trust my ears, had any king ever surrendered so much so heedlessly? Already deep in his cups, my uncle was oblivious to the gravity of the moment, which I aimed to take advantage of

Be careful what you give away and at the same time take advantage when people don’t know what they have.

Book 6

Allow me to pause and emphasize this general rule: Success always calls for greater generosity – though most people, lost in the darkness of their own egos, treat it as an occasion for greater greed.

When you are successful be happy to give more then ever before

Book 7

Let my readers note that there’s no great need of long speeches at critical moments. Brevity is the soul of command. I’d used fewer than a hundred words to rescue my plans from a direct assault by my uncle. Too much talking suggest desperation on the part of the leader. Speak shortly, decisively and to the point – and couch your desires in such natural logic that no can raise objections. Then move on.

Clear and concise

Book 9

So then I summarized Mandarus will capture the place from within and turn it over to us. In war a man can sometimes do his friends a world of good by pretending to be their enemy

High cunning where possible

I was pleased to hear that anger was consuming him, for nothing is better than anger for driving an enemy to foolhardy extremes.

The art of war

Book 15

If we let ourselves grow soft, I warned them, we’ll betray our true selves. Before long, the loss of our honour will render us impotent. If we turn our backs on the strenuous life, we’ll destroy both our power and our wealth

Problem solving makes us great

Book 16

All through my life I paid reverence to God because, first and last, my faith was deep and genuine. As the ruler of a mighty empire, I showed myself more eager then ever to praise and thank the Father God and the other gods, his eternal sons and daughters, beginning each day by chanting a hymn and sacrificing to whichever divinities the priests might name.

Start the day right

But when I became rich, I realized that no kindness between man and man comes more naturally than sharing food and drink, especially food and drink of the ambrosial excellence that I could now provide.

Eating and drinking together will make bonds stronger

Wining and dining and bestowing gifts to the powerful

Keep your enemies satisfied by eating, drinking and sharing with them

But I’ve decided to make my friends rich and they become living treasuries for me, and they are better at guarding their gold than any watchmen could ever be

Rich and powerful friends are as important as being rich and powerful

Openly reward your best people

Give credit where credit is due

He has the knack of showing up whenever I need him

Be useful

His strength is no more supernatural than your own, nor is his virtue and by himself he could never preserve the good things that belong by right to everyone. To govern well, he must have your help – the help of his true, trustworthy friends. You must forever be worthy of his trust, and you must raise up true friends of your own, to help you carry your own burdens. And it is love that must bind all of us together.

Cultivate good friends through love and trust

God and all you gods, please accept this sacrifice, my offering for all the good things that have filled my life. I thank you from the depths of my heart for the grace you have shown me, inspiring me throughout my life, allowing me to know what things I ought to do, and where I ought to stay my hand. My gratitude is very deep, for you have kept me from spoiling my heart with pride, for you have kept me from spoiling my heart with pride, even in the greatest prosperity. I beseech you to now bless my children also and my sweet wife and my friends and all my realm

A pray for all men

You must never imagine that such loyal hearts spring up like grass in the field. No, every leader must actively raise up his followers and you must win their hearts by the kindness that springs from love

As above work on your friendships so you can have allies

If God requires reverence so does the human race, and you must treat all people with benevolence. As great men, your deeds will be known to all humankind. If you are righteous, everyone will call you blessed.

In gods eye we are all equal, thus treat all men equally

Final Thoughts

A good book about how to act and take advantage of certain situations. It has a common thread with other leaders, be proactive, build strong relationships and share the credit and rewards. 8/10

The Screwtape Letters. By C.S. Lewis

Synopsis: A demon mentors his nephew on how to bring the soul of man into hell.

Key Takeaways

Page 3 – Whatever odd ideas might come into a man’s head when he was shut up alone with his books, a healthy dose of “real life” was to show him that all “that sort of thing” just couldn’t be true.

What is real and what is fake? Maybe our real distractions keep us from discovering what’s really important.

Page 7 – Desiring their freedom, He therefore refuses to carry them, by their mere affections and habits, to any of the goals which He sets before them: He leaves to “do it on their own”.

God tests us everyday, will they carry out the tasks set for them?

Page 16 – It is funny how mortals always picture us as putting things into their minds: in reality our best work is done by keeping things out.

Keeping out pure and honest thoughts out, like praying or doing a good deed.

Page 16 – The simplest is to turn their gaze away from Him towards themselves. Keep them watching their own minds and trying to produce feelings there by the action of their own wills.

When we pray, do the feeling matter? No, focus on god, on his love.

Page 17 – Teach them to estimate the value of prayer by their success in producing the desired feeling; and never let them suspect how much success or failure of that kind depends on whether they are well or ill, fresh or tired, at the moment.

The feeling doesn’t matter, the act of prayer is what matters.  

Page 18 – But whatever the nature of the composite object, you must keep him praying to it – to the thing that has made, not the Person who has made him

The icon doesn’t matter, it’s what created the icon.

Page 37 – Humans are half spirit and half animal, as spirits they belong to the eternal world but as animals they inhibit time. This means that while their spirit can be directed to an eternal object, their bodies, passions, and imaginations are in continual change, for to be in time means to change. Their nearest approach to constancy, there, is undulation – the repeated return to a level from which they repeatedly fall back, a series of troughs and peaks.

Life is a struggle, and we must persevere through it

Page 51 – He can be made to take a positive pleasure in the perception that the two sides of his life are inconsistent. This is done by exploiting his vanity. He can be taught to enjoy kneeling beside the grocer on Sunday just because he remembers that the grocer could not possibly understand the urbane and mocking world which he inhabited on Saturday evening; and contrariwise, to enjoy the bawdy and blasphemy over the coffee with these admirable friends all the more because he is aware of a “deeper,” “spiritual” world within him which they can not understand. You see the idea – the worldly friends touch him on one side and the grocer on the other, and he is the complete, balanced, complex man who sees round them all. Thus, while being permanently treacherous to at least two sets of people, he will feel, instead of same, a continual under-current of self-satisfaction… and that to cease to do so would be “priggish,” “intolerant,” and… “Puritanical.

Fake friends will make us fake people

Page 59 – A few weeks ago you had to tempt him to unreality and inattention in his prayers; but now you will find him opening his arms to you and almost begging you to distract his purpose and benumb his heart. He will want his prayers to be unreal, for he will dread nothing so much as effective contact with his Enemy. You no longer need a good book, which he really likes, to keep him from his prayers or his work or his sleep; a column of advertisements in yesterday’s paper will do. You can make him waste his time not only in conversation he enjoys with people whom he likes, but also in conversations with those he cares nothing about, on subjects that bore him. You can make him do nothing at all for long periods. You can keep him up late at night, not roistering, but staring at a dead fire in a cold room. All the healthy and outgoing activities which we want him to avoid can be inhibited and nothing given in return, so that at last he may say…’I now see that I spent most my life doing in doing neither what I ought nor what I liked.

How much time do I waste avoiding contact that will is pure and unconditional?

Page 64 – The characteristics of Pains and Pleasures is that they are unmistakably real, and therefore as they go, give the man who feels them a touchstone of reality,  five minutes genuine toothache would reveal the romantic sorrows for the nonsense they were and unmask the whole stratagem.

What is in your head is not real.  

Page 65 – Remember, always, that He really like the little vermin (mankind), and sets an absurd value on the distinctness of every one of them. When He talks of their losing their selves, He means only abandoning the clamour of self-will; once they have done that, He really gives them back all their personality, and boasts that when they are wholly His they will be more themselves than ever

Its when we surrender to the will of God that we really become ourselves

Page 66 – You should always try to make the patient abandon the people or food or books he really likes in favour of the “best” people, the “right” food, the “important” books. I have known a human defended from strong temptations to social ambition by a still stronger taste for tripe and onions.

Be who you are and not what society tell you to be.

Page 69 – The patient only hopes for the daily and hourly pittance to meet the daily and hourly temptation. This is very bad.

Don’t expect grate things, daily bread

Page 69 – All virtues are less formidable to us once the man is aware that he has them, but this is especially true of humility.

If you think your humble are you really humble?

Page 70 – You must therefore conceal from the patient the true end of Humility. Let him think of it, not as self-forgetfulness, but as a certain kind of opinion (namely, a low opinion) of his own talents and character. Some talents, I gather, he really has. Fix in his mind the idea that humility consists in trying to believe those talents to be less valuable than he believes them to be. No doubt they are in fact less valuable than he believes, but that is not the point. The great thing is to make him value an opinion for some quality other than truth, thus introducing an element of dishonesty and make-believe into the heart of what otherwise threatens to become a virtue. By this method thousands of humans have been brought to think that humility means pretty women trying to believe they are ugly and clever men trying to believe they are fools. And since what they are trying to believe may, in some cases, be manifest nonsense, they cannot succeed in believing it, and we have the chance of keeping their minds endlessly revolving on themselves in an effort to achieve the impossible.

Be humble and live with humility, value opinions of for their truth

Page 71 – The Enemy wants him, in the end, to be so free from any bias in his own favour that he can rejoice in his own talents as frankly and gratefully as in his neighbour’s talents—or in a sunrise, an elephant, or a waterfall. He wants each man, in the long run, to be able to recognise all creatures (even himself) as glorious and excellent things. He wants to kill their animal self-love as soon as possible; but it is His long­term policy, I fear, to restore to them a new kind of self-love—a charity and gratitude for all selves, including their own; when they have really learned to love their neighbours as themselves, they will be allowed to love themselves as their neighbours.

Rejoice in the world because we are all worthy of his love

Page 72 – Your efforts to instil either vainglory or false modesty into the patient will therefore be met from the Enemy’s side with the obvious reminder that a man is not usually called upon to have an opinion of his own talents at all, since he can very well go on improving them to the best of his ability without deciding on his own precise niche in the temple of Fame.

Where you ranks doesn’t matter, just leave it all out on the floor

Page 75 – The humans live in time but our Enemy destines them to eternity. He therefore, I believe, wants them to attend chiefly to two things, to eternity itself, and to that point of time which they call the present. Either meditating on their eternal union with, or separation from, himself, or else obeying the present voice of conscience, bearing the present cross, receiving the present grace, giving thanks for the present pleasure.

The past and future doesn’t exist, its only the now and eternity

Page 76 – Hence nearly all vices are rooted in the future. Gratitude looks to the past and love to the present; fear, avarice, lust, and ambition look ahead.

Forget about the future live in the here and now

Page 77 – His ideal is a man who, having worked all day for the good of posterity washes his mind of the whole subject, commit the issue to Heaven, and returns at once to the patience or gratitude passing over him. But we want a man hag-ridden by the future.

Do your best and leave the rest to the Almighty

Page 105 – For as things are, your man has now discovered the dangerous truth that these attacks don’t last forever; consequently you cannot use again what is, after all, our best weapon – the belief of ignorant humans, that there is no hope of getting rid of us except by yielding.

This too shall pass

Page 111 – The more claims on life, therefore, that your patient can be induced to make, the more often he will feel injured and, as a result, ill-tempered. Now you will have noticed that nothing  throws him into a passion so easily as to find a tract of time which he reckoned on having at his own disposal unexpectedly taken from him.

Have no claims, take life as it comes and do your best

Page 112 – The curious assumption “my time is my own”. The man can neither make nor retain one moment of time; it all comes to him by pure gift, he might as well regard the sun and moon as his chattels

How many people think they own time?

Page 135 – If they must be Christians let them at least be Christians with a difference. Substitute for the faith itself some Fashion with Christian colouring.

One God, one faith, one love

Page 138 – The enemy loves platitudes. Of a proposed course of action He wantS men, so far as I can see, to ask very simple questions, is it righteous? Is I prudent? Is it possible?

Don’t worry about the big questions, just focus on the simple and reasonable.

Page 142 – A woman means by unselfishness chiefly taking trouble for other; a man means not giving trouble to others

Understand we have different points of view.

Page 147 – The whole question of distraction and the wandering mind has now become one of the chief subjects of his prayers. That means you have largely failed.

Pray for focus and not for distractions

Page 154 – At the present moment, as the full impact of the war draws nearer and his worldly hopes take a proportionately lower place in his mind, full of his defence work, full of the girl, forced to attend to his neighbours more than he has ever done before and liking it more than he expected, “taken out of himself” as the humans say, and daily increasing in conscious dependence on the Enemy, he will almost certainly be lost to us if he is killed tonight.

Its in service to other we loose ourselves

Page 156 – Where Virtue is concerned ‘Experience is the mother of illusion’; but thanks to a change in fashion, and also of course, the historical point of view, we have largely rendered his book innocuous

Kant

Page 162 – What you must do is to keep running in his mind (side by side with the conscious intention of doing his duty) the vague idea of all sorts of things he can do or not do, inside the framework of the duty, which seem to make him a little safer. Get his mind off the simple rule (“I’ve got to stay here and do so-and-so”) into a series of imaginary life lines (“If A happened – though I very much hope it won’t – I could do B – and if the worst came to the worst, I could always do C”). Superstitions, if not recognised as such, can be awakened. The point is to keep him feeling that he has something, other than the Enemy and courage the Enemy supplies, to fall back on, so that what was intended to be a total commitment to duty becomes honeycombed all through with little unconscious reservations

Thy rod, thy staff comfort me

Page 167 – Exaggerate the weariness by making him think it will soon be over; for men usually feel that a strain could have been endured no longer at the very moment when it is ending, or when they think it is ending. In this, as in the problem of cowardice, the thing to avoid is the total commitment. Whatever he says, let his inner resolution be not to bear whatever comes to him, but to bear it “for a reasonable period” – and let the reasonable period be shorter than the trial is likely to last. It need not be much shorter; in attacks on patience, chastity, and fortitude, the fun is to make the man yield just when (had he but known it) relief was almost in sight

Carry on, always carry on

Final Thoughts: This book is profound. Life lessons in every page. The things I take away are; live in the moment, do what you want, work hard, pray simply and honestly, be humble and serve others. 10/10