Synopsis: This summary is from the book Hold On To Your Kids and specially the chapter Collecting Our Children. It outlines things we can do to build better relationships with our children.

Key Takeaways

Get in the child’s face – or space – in a friendly way

Make the effort

For every child, a different dance will emerge.

Each child is unique

It’s important to collect our children after any time of separation

Bring them back to base

Attachment rituals exist in every culture, when fully consummated, a greeting should collect the eyes, a smile and a nod.

Follow a few simple steps

Collecting our children is also important after the separation caused by sleep

Always reconnect with your kids

Right after the boys wake up my wife and I put them on our laps, held them, played and joked with them until the eyes were engaged, the smiles were forthcoming and the nods were working

Simple rituals, making breakfast together

Rebuilding that bridge is always our responsibility

Make it happen

The simple finger grasp is an entirely unconscious interaction, the objective of which is to prime the attachment instincts, to get the child to hold on

Be a rock

For our own children the physical component is key. Hugs and embraces were designed for children to hold on to and can warm up a child long after the hug is over

Physical connect is great

Above all, an adult must give something before the child will hold on

Always be the first to give something

Our challenge as parents is to provide an invitation that is too desirable and too important for a child to turn down, a loving acceptance that no peer can provide

Unconditional love

The child must perceive our offering to be spontaneous for the connection to work

To be real and not fake

Providing something to hold on to is most effective when least expected. If what we have to offer can be earned or is seen to be some sort of reward, it will not serve as nurturing contact.

Unconditional

The conundrum is that attention given at the request of the child is never satisfactory; it leaves an uncertainty that the parent is only responding to demands, not voluntarily giving himself to the child

Generous with time and spirit

The demands only escalate without the emotional need underlying them ever being filled. The solution is to seize the moment, to invite contact exactly when the child is not demanding it

Take them by surprise

We take the child by surprise, making him feel that he is the one receiving the invitation

Who doesn’t love a random act of kindness

The foundation of a child’s true self-esteem is the sense of being accepted, loved and enjoyed by the parents exactly as he, the child, is.

They are perfect just as they are

Our job in raising children is to look after their dependence needs

Unshakeable

There is no shortcut to true independence. The only way to become independent is through being dependent. Resting in the confidence that getting children to be capable as separate beings is not entirely up to us

Be confident that your children will be able to navigate through the world

Since children depend on us to get their bearings, we must assume the role of compass point and act as their guide  

Be the example that you want them to become

Final Thoughts: The book over my head in allot of ways but in this chapter I found allot of practical advise to take on board with my toddler. Simple things like collecting them, accepting them and spontaneous acts of love are important concepts that will improve any parent/child relationship.

Synopsis: A father and son go on a journey to find a better life in a cruel dark world.

Key Takeaways

No lists of things to be done. The day providential to itself. The hour. There is no later. This is later. All things of grace and beauty such that one holds them to one’s heart have a common provenance in pain. Their birth in grief and ashes.

Just remember that the things you put into your head are there forever, he said. You might want to think about that.
You forget some things, dont you?
Yes. You forget what you want to remember and you remember what you want to forget

He  was beginning to think that death was finally upon them and that they should find some place to hide where they would not be found. There were times when he sat watching the boy sleep that he would begin to sob uncontrollably but it wasn’t about death. He wasn’t sure what it was about but he thought it was about beauty or about goodness. Things that he’d no longer any way to think about at all. They squatted in a bleak wood and drank ditch water strained through a rag. He’d seen the boy in a dream laid out on a cooling board and woke in horror. What he could bear in the waking world he could not by night and he sat awake for fear the dream would return.

He walked out in the gray light and stood and he saw for a brief moment the absolute truth of the world. The cold relentless circling of the intestate earth. Darkness implacable. The blind dogs of the sun in their running. The crushing black vacuum of the universe. And somewhere two hunted animals trembling like ground-foxes in their cover. Borrowed time and borrowed world and borrowed eyes with which to sorrow it.

Final Thoughts: This is a book about a parents love for their child. Throughout the book he can end the grief by killing them both but he decides to go on in the cruel world just to give his son a chance at a better life. The book shows how this love persists in the darkest of worlds. The purest of love between parents and their children.

Synopsis – A famed investment manager gives us insight to what he considers “most important” and how it plays a role in his decision making.  

Key Takeaways

Page 4 – You must be thinking more right than others…which by definition means your thinking has to be different

What are you doing to differently to others?

Page 5 – The difference in workload between first-level and second-level thinking is clearly massive, and the number of people capable of the latter is tiny compared to the number capable of the former

The work and who can do the work

Page 13 – The first test is always the same “And who doesn’t know that?”

Information is power, especially information that no one else knows

Page 15 – Inefficient markets do not necessarily give their participates generous returns. Rather, its my view that they provide the raw material – mispricing’s – that can allow some people to win and others to lose on the basis of differential skill

To be an inefficient market is not enough, you still have to make the right moves

Page 17 – Many of the best bargains at any point in time are found among the things other investors can’t or won’t do

Balls on the line

Page 17 – Let others believe markets can never be beat. Abstention on the part of those who won’t venture in creates opportunities for those who will

Fortune favours the brave

Page 17 – I should limit my efforts to relatively inefficient markets where hard work and skill would pay off best

Time is limited, focus where you will be most effective

Page 23 – Growth investing represents a bet on company performance that may or may not materialize in the future, while value investing is based primarily on analysis of company’s current worth

The present versus the future

Page 28 – Thus, there are two essential ingredients for profit in a declining market: you have to have a view on intrinsic value, and you have to hold that view strongly enough to be able to hang in and buy even as price declines suggest that you are wrong. Oh yes theses a third; you have to be right

Trust yourself and hang on

Page 29 – Investment success doesn’t come from “buying good things” but rather from “buying things well”

Overpaying for good things is first level thinking

Page 75 – Controlling the risk in your portfolio is a very important and worthwhile pursuit. The fruits, however, come only in the form of losses that don’t happen. Such what-if calculations are difficult in placid times.

Safety is hard to measure and put a value on

Page 77 – Reality is more vicious than Russian roulette. First it has thousands of chambers so after few dozen tries, we forget, second most people don’t even know they are playing Russian roulette as the games are not well defined

Taleb

Page 99 – Nothing is easier than self-deceit. For what each man wishes that he also believes to be true

Vital lies, simple truths

Page 113 – The most typical of market victims; the six-foot-tall man who drowned crossing the stream that was five feet deep on average

The ends of the bell curve will kill you

Page 128 – To boil it all down to just one sentence, I’d say the necessary condition for the existence of bargains is that perception has to be considerably worse than reality. That means the best opportunities are usually found among things most other won’t do. After all, if everyone feels good about something and is glad to join in, it won’t be bargain-priced

Do things other people are not willing to do

Page 136 – You simply cannot create investment opportunities when they’re not there. The dumbest thing you can do is to insist on perpetuating high returns – and give back your profits in the process. If its not there, hoping won’t make it so

Play the game that is in front of you

Page 166 – A good decision is one that a logical, intelligent, and informed person would have made under the circumstances as they appeared at the time before the outcome as known.

We can’t judge decisions by the outcome

Page 183 – I believe that in many cases, the avoidance of losses and terrible years is more easily achieved than repeated greatness and thus risk control is more likely to create a solid foundation for superior long-term track record. Investing scared, requiring good value and a substantial margin for error, and being conscious of what you don’t know and can’t control are hallmarks of the best investors I know

The avoidance of loss is as important as the gains you make

Page 209 – It’s reasonable to aspire to returns in single digits or low double digits. High teens are something very special and should be the province of experienced pros.

Keep reasonable goals in mind

Page 212 – That leaves buying on the way down, which we should be glad to do. The good news is that if we buy while the price is collapsing, that fact alone often causes others to hide behind excuse that “it’s not our job to catch falling knives

Catch the falling knife

Page 216 – The relationship between price and value holds the ultimate key to investment success. Buying below value is the most dependable route to profit. Paying above value rarely works out as well.

Don’t make mistakes

Page 219 – A diversified portfolio of investments, each of which is unlikely to produce significant loss, is a good start toward investment success.

KISS

Final Thoughts – One of the best investment books I have read. Each concept is laid out, explained with examples. Second level thinking and the discussing on the relationship between price and risk alone is enough. Recommend to anyone who is interested in better ways of thinking. 9/10

Synopsis: The most important thing is the image we have of ourselves and its important we cultivate the best image possible.  All our actions will follow to align with that image so we must work to have the best image possible.

Key Takeaways

Page 1

• The self-image each of us carries about with us is a mental blueprint/picture of ourselves
• This self-image is our own conception of the “sort of person I am”
• We do not question its validity but proceed to act upon it just as if it were true
• All your actions, feelings behaviour – even your abilities – are always consistent with this self-image
• The self-image can be changed

Page 4

• Ideas which are inconsistent with the system are rejected, “not believed” and not acted upon. Ideas which seem to be consistent with the system are accepted

Page 5

• Instead of saying “I failed the test” they conclude “I am a failure”

Page 10

• To rreally “live” that is to find life reasonably satisfying, you must have an adequate and realistic self image that you can live with
• Your self-image must be a reasonable approximation of “you”, being neither more than you are, nor less than you are

Page 12

• To the degree that we deny the gift of life, we embrace death
• The so-called “subconscious mind” is not a “mind” at all, but a mechanism – a goal striving “servo-mechanism” consisting of the brain and nervous system, which is used by and directed by the mind
• Like any other servo-mechanism, it must have a clear cut goal, objective or “problem” to work upon
• The goals that our own Creative Mechanism seeks to achieve are MENTAL IMAGES, or mental pictures which we create by the use of IMAGINATION
• It prescribes the area of possible

Page 14

• The method itself consists in learning, practicing, and experiencing, new habits of thinking, imagining, remembering and acting in order to (1) develop an adequate and realistic Self-Image and (2) use your creative Mechanism to bring success and happiness in achieving particular goals

Page 16

• To “live” encompasses more than physical survival and procreation of the species. It requires certain emotional and spiritual satisfactions as well.
• Man too has a success instinct, much more marvelous and much more complex than that of any animal
• Man, on the other hand has something animals haven’t – creative imagination. Thus man of all creatures is more than a creature, he is also a creator
• Imagination rules the world, imagination of all man’s faculties is the most god like.

Page 18

• Your brain and nervous system constitute a goal-striving mechanism which operates automatically to achieve a certain goal, very much as a self-aiming torpedo or a missile seeks out its target and steer its way to it

Page 20

• The torpedo accomplishes its goal by going forward, making errors, and continually correcting them
• When “YOU” select the goal and trigger it into action an automatic mechanism takes over

Page 21

• Once however, a correct or “successful response” has been accomplished – it is “remembered” for future use. The automatic mechanism then duplicates this successful response on future trials. It has “learned” how to respond successfully. It “remembers” its successes, forgets its failures, and repeats the successful action without any further conscious “thought” – or as a habit.

Page 24

• A computer does not have a forebrain nor an “I”. It cannot pose a problem to itself
• Many great thinkers of all ages have believed that man’s “stored information” is not limited to his own memories of past experiences, and learned facts. “There is one mind common to all individual men”

Page 25

• “we have found” says Dr Rine, “that there is a capacity for acquiring knowledge that transcends the sensory functions. This extra sensory capacity can give us knowledge certainly of objective and very likely of subjective states, knowledge of matter and most probably of minds”
• In much the same way, when we set out to find a new idea, or the answer to a problem, we must assume that answer exists already – somewhere and set out to find it

Page 27

• You cannot merely imagine a new self-image; unless you feel that it is based upon truth

Page 30

• IMAGINATION plays a far more important role in our lives than most of us realize

Page 32

• Your nervous system cannot tell the difference between an imagined experience and a real experience. In either case, it reacts automatically to information which you give to it from your forebrain. Your nervous system reacts appropriately to what “you” think or imagine to be true

Page 33

• The brain and nervous system which reacts automatically to environment is the same brain and nervous system which tells us what the environment is.

Page 34

• It follows that if our ideas and mental images concerning ourselves are distorted or unrealistic, then our reaction to our environment will likewise be inappropriate

Page 35

• If we picture ourselves performing in a certain manner, it is nearly the same as the actual performance. Mental practice helps to make perfect

Page 39

• You must have a clear mental picture of the correct thing before you can do it successfully

Page 41

• Thus, mental picturing the desired end result, literally forces you can use “positive thinking”

Page 43

• Your mental picture of yourself “the strongest force within you.”

Page 44

• He sees us as already serene, confident and cheerful, masters at the art of living with love and laughter and a desire to serve

Page 56

• And this feeling of inferiority comes about for just one reason: we judge ourselves and measure ourselves not against our own “norm” or “par” but against some other individuals “norm”.

Page 57

• Inferiority and Superiority are reverse sides off the same coin. The cure lies in realizing that the coin itself is curious.

The truth about you is this

You are not “inferior”

You are not “superior”

You are simply “you”

Page 58

• Stop measuring yourself against “their” standards. You are not “them” and can never measure up.

Page 59

• Inner security can only be found “in finding in oneself an individuality, uniqueness and distinctiveness that is akin to the idea of being created in the image of God”. Self-realization is gained by “a simple belief in one’s own uniqueness as human being, a sense of deep and wide awareness of all people and all things and a feeling of constructive influencing of others through one’s own personality”

Page 60

• The important factor in learning, in short, is the thought of an objective to be attained, either as a specific behaviour pattern or as the result of the behaviour, together with a desire for the attainment of the object
• Effort or “will power” used to fight against or resist worry, is the very thing that perpetuates worry and keeps going

Page 64

• It is conscious thinking is the “control knob” of your unconscious machine

Page 65

• This common denominator is that the patient has forgotten how, or probably never learned how, to control this present thinking to produce enjoyment

Page 66

• It is equally important that the error be consciously forgotten and the successful attempt remembered and dwelt upon. Those memories of past failures do no harm as long as our conscious thought and attention is focused upon the positive goal to be accomplished

Page 67

• Memories of past failures can adversely affect performance if we dwell upon them and foolishly conclude – “I failed yesterday – therefore it follows that I will fail again today”
• The minute that we change our minds and stop giving power to the past, the past with its mistakes loses power over us.

Page 71

• Lecky found that there were two powerful “levers” for changing beliefs and concepts. There are “standard” convictions which are strongly held by nearly everyone. These are (1) the feeling or belief that one is capable of doing his share, holding up his end of the log, exerting a certain amount of independence and (2) the belief that there is “something” inside you which should not be allowed to suffer indignities.
• Remember that both behaviour and feeling spring from belief.

Page 72

• Then ask yourself the questions:
  • 1. Is there any rational reason for such a belief?
  • 2. Could it be that I am mistaken in this belief?
  • 3. Would I come to the same conclusion about some other person in a similar situation?
  • 4. Why should I continue to act and feel as if this were true if there is no good reason to believe it?

Page 73

• Rational thought, to be effective in changing belief and behaviour, must be accompanied by deep feeling and desire.
• Your present negative beliefs were formed by thought plus feelings. Generate enough emotion, or deep feeling, and your new thoughts and ideas will cancel them out.

Page 74

• “In forming ‘good’ emotional habits, and in breaking ‘bad’ ones,” said Dr. Knight Dunlap, “we have to deal primarily with thought and thought habits. “As a man thinketh in his heart so is he.'”

Page 75

• Always think of what you have to do as easy and it will become so,” said Emile Coué. “I have made extensive experiments to discover the common causes of that conscious effort which freezes the thinking mind,” says psychologist Daniel W. Josselyn
• You simply must learn that if you can interest the neighbour you can interest all the neighbours, or the world, and not be frozen by magnitudes.

Page 76

• It is the job of conscious rational thought to decide what you want; select the goals you wish to achieve—and concentrate upon these rather than upon what you do not want.

Page 77

• It is not, however, responsible for results. We must learn to do our work, act upon the best assumptions available, and leave results to take care of themselves.

Page 79

• When once a decision is reached and execution is the order of the day, dismiss absolutely all responsibility and care about the outcome. Unclamp, in a word, your intellectual and practical machinery, and let it run free; and the service it will do you will be twice as good

Page 80

• Give up the feeling of responsibility, let go your hold, resign the care of your destiny to higher powers, be genuinely indifferent as to what becomes of it all

Page 84

• Do your worrying before you place your bet, not after the wheel starts turning

Page 86

• Form the habit of consciously responding to the present moment. Consciously practice the habit of “taking no anxious thought for tomorrow,” by giving all your attention to the present moment.

Page 87

• Stop—Look—and Listen! Practice becoming more consciously aware of your present environment. What sights, sounds, odours are present in your environment right now that you are not conscious of? Consciously practice looking and listening.

Page 88

• A great deal of nervousness is caused from unwittingly “trying” to do something that cannot be done here or now. You are geared for action or for “doing” which cannot take place. Keep constantly in mind that the job of your creative mechanism is to respond appropriately to present environment—here and now.

Page 89

• Try to do only one thing at a time. Another cause of confusion, and the resulting feelings of nervousness, hurry, and anxiety, is the absurd habit of trying to do many things at one time. The student studies and watches TV simultaneously.
• When we feel jittery, or worried, or anxious in thinking of the great amount of work that lies before us, the jittery feelings are not caused by the work, but by our mental attitude—which is “I ought to be able to do this all at once.” We become nervous because we are trying to do the impossible, and thereby making futility and frustration inevitable. The truth is: We can only “do” one thing at a time

Page 90

• When we work with this attitude, we are relaxed, we are free from the feelings of hurry and anxiety, and we can concentrate and think at our best
• Just as only one grain of sand could pass through the hourglass, so could we only do one thing at a time. It is not the job, but the way we insist upon thinking of the job that causes the trouble.
• no matter how many problems, tasks or strains we face, they always come to us in single file, which is the only way they can come.

Page 91

• Stop trying to cram into the machinery more than one job at a time
• Remember that your creative mechanism works best when there is not too much interference from your conscious “I.” In sleep, the creative mechanism has an ideal opportunity to work independently of conscious interference, if you have previously started the wheels turning.

Page 96

• A merry heart doeth good like a medicine, but a broken spirit drieth up the ‘ bones. Happy people are never wicked. The very word “disease” means a state of unhappiness—”dis-ease.” It might be nearer the truth if we said, “Be happy—and you will be good, more successful, healthier, feel and act more charitably towards others.” Happiness is not something that is earned or deserved. “Happiness is not the reward of virtue,” said Spinoza, “but virtue itself; nor do we delight in happiness because we restrain our lusts; but, on the contrary, because we delight in it, therefore are we able to restrain them.” (Spinoza, Ethics.)

Page 97

• Happiness comes from being and acting unselfishly—as a natural accompaniment to the being and acting, not as a “pay off” or prize.
• One of the most pleasant thoughts to any human being is the thought that he is needed, that he is important enough to help and add to the happiness of some other human being.
• The attitude of unhappiness is not only painful, it is mean and ugly.

Page 98

• We are never living, but only hoping to live; and looking forward always to being happy, it is inevitable that we never are so” said Pascal.
• They are attempting to live their lives on the deferred payment plan. They do not live, nor enjoy life now, but wait for some future event or occurrence.
• Happiness is a mental habit, a mental attitude, and if it is not learned’ and practiced in the present it is never experienced.

Page 101

• Men are disturbed,” said the sage, “not by things that happen, but by their opinion of the things that happen”

Page 103

• “The measure of mental health is the disposition to find good everywhere,” said that most famous moralist, Ralph Waldo Emerson

Page 104

• Like a squirrel hoarding chestnut, we should store up our moments of happiness and triumph so that in a crisis we can draw upon these memories for help and inspiration.

Page 108

• Our habits are literally garments worn by our personalities. They are not accidental, or happenstance. We have them because they fit us.

Page 109

• What we need to understand is that these habits, unlike addictions, can be modified, changed, or reversed, simply by taking the trouble to make a conscious decision—and then by practicing or “acting out” the new response or behaviour.

Page 113

• Sense of Direction – He regained control when he set himself new goals and began to think in terms of, “What do I want out of this job? What do I want to achieve? Where do I want to go?”

Page 114

• We are engineered as goal-seeking mechanisms. We are built that way.
• We are built to conquer environment, solve problems, achieve goals, and we find no real satisfaction or happiness in life without obstacles to conquer and goals to achieve

Page 115

• Understanding depends upon good communication. Communication is vital to any guidance system or computer. Most of our failures in human relations are due to “misunderstandings. No one reacts to “things as they are,” but to his own mental images, but because he “understands” and interprets the situation differently from us.

Page 116

• Look for and seek out true information concerning yourself, your problems, other people, or the situation, whether it is good news or bad news. Adopt the motto—”It doesn’t matter who’s right, but what’s right.”

Page 117

• Courage – Having a goal and understanding the situation are not enough. You must have the courage to act, for only by actions can goals, desires and beliefs be translated into realities
• All problems, personal, national, or combat, become smaller if you don’t dodge them, but confront them.
• Often the difference between a successful man and a failure is not one’s better abilities or ideas, but the courage that one must bet on his ideas, to take a calculated risk—-and to act.

Page 118

• You must daily have the courage to risk making mistakes, risk failure, risk being humiliated. A step in the wrong direction is better than staying “on the spot” all your life. Once you’re moving forward you can correct your course as you go.
• When we have faith and act with courage—that is exactly what we’re doing-—gambling on, taking a chance on, our own creative God-given talents
• Faith and courage are natural human instincts and we feel a need to express them—in one way or another.

Page 119

• They respect the dignity of human personality and deal with other people as if they were human beings, rather than as pawns in their own game. They recognize that every person is a child of God and is a unique individuality which deserves some dignity and respect.
• It is -a psychologic fact that our feelings about ourselves tend to correspond to our feelings about other people.
• The person who feels that “people are not very important” cannot have very much deep-down self-respect and self-regard—for he himself is “people” and with what judgment he considers others, he himself is unwittingly judged in his own mind. One of the best known methods of getting over a feeling of guilt is to stop condemning other people in your own mind—stop judging them—stop blaming them and hating them for their mistakes.

Page 120

• Try to develop a genuine appreciation for people by realizing the truth about them; they are children of God, unique personalities, creative beings.

Page 121

• Esteem – “Of all the traps and pitfalls in life, self-disesteem is the deadliest, and the hardest to overcome; for it is a pit designed and dug by our own hands, summed up in the phrase, ‘It’s no use—I can’t do it,’
• “The penalty of succumbing to it is heavy—both for the individual in terms of material rewards lost, and for society in gains and progress unachieved.
• We simply must get it through our heads that holding a low opinion of ourselves is not a virtue, but a vice

Page 122

• The biggest secret of self-esteem is this: Begin to appreciate other people more; show respect for any human being merely because he is a child of God and therefore a “thing of value.”
• For real self-esteem is not derived from the great things you’ve done, the things you own, the mark you’ve made—but an appreciation of yourself for what you are—a child of God.

Page 122

• Confidence is built upon an experience of success. It doesn’t matter how many times you have failed in the past. What matters is the successful attempt, which should be remembered, reinforced, and dwelt upon.
• Use errors and mistakes as a way to learning—then dismiss them from your mind. Deliberately remember and picture to yourself past successes.

Page 124

• Self-Acceptance – No real success or genuine happiness is possible until a person gains some degree of self-acceptance
• Success, which comes from self-expression, often eludes those who strive and strain to “be somebody,” and often comes, almost of its own accord, when a person becomes willing to relax and—”Be Himself.”

Page 125

• Most of us are better, wiser, stronger, more competent now, than we realize. Creating a better self-image does not create new abilities, talents, powers—it releases and utilizes them.

Page 126

• This requires admitting to ourselves—and accepting the fact, that our personality, our “expressed self,” or what some psychologists call our “actual self,” is always imperfect and short of the mark.
• The Actual Self is not a static but a dynamic thing. It is never completed and final, but always in a state of growth. It is important that we learn to accept this Actual Self, with all its imperfections, because it is the only vehicle we have.
• Accept yourself as you are—and start from there. Differentiate between your “self” and your behaviour. “You” are not ruined or worthless because you made a mistake or got off course, any more than a typewriter is worthless which makes an error

Page 127

• I may not be perfect, I may have faults and weaknesses, I might have gotten off the track, I may have a long way to go—but I am something and I will make the most of that something.
• Enough of us to know that it means faith, trust, confidence, the human expression of the God within us. He says, ‘Do my work.’ Go and do it. No matter what it is. Do it, but do it with a zest; a keenness; a gusto that surmounts obstacles and brushes aside discouragement.
• Accept yourself. Be yourself.

Page 130

• F-rustration A—ggressiveness (misdirected) I-nsecurity L-oneliness (lack of “oneness”) U-ncertainty R-esentment E—mptiness.

Page 131

• Frustration is an emotional feeling which develops whenever some important goal cannot be realized or when some strong desire is thwarted. As we grow older we should learn that all desires cannot be satisfied immediately.

Page 132

• Aggressiveness – Excessive and misdirected aggressiveness follows frustration as night follows day. We must go out after what we want in an aggressive rather than in a defensive or tentative manner. We must grapple with problems aggressively
• The failure-type personality does not direct his aggressiveness toward the accomplishment of a worthwhile goal.

Page 135

• The answer to aggression is not to eradicate it, but to understand it, and provide proper and appropriate channels for its expression.
• Misdirected aggression is an attempt to hit one target (the original goal) by lashing out at any target. It doesn’t work. You don’t solve one problem by creating another.

Page 136

• Insecurity – A great deal of insecurity is not due to the fact that our inner resources are actually inadequate, but due to the fact that we use a false measuring stick. We compare our actual abilities to an imagined “ideal,” perfect, or absolute set

Page 137

• “Why callest thou me good? There is but one good and that is the Father.” St. Paul is generally regarded as a “good” man, yet his own attitude was, “I count myself not to have achieved . . . but I press on toward the goal.”

Page 138

• Loneliness – All of us are lonely at times. Again, it is a natural penalty we pay for being human and individual.
• The person who is alienated from his real self has cut himself off from the basic and fundamental “contact” with life.

Page 139

• Doing things with other people and enjoying things with other people, helps us to forget ourselves
• The lonely personality is afraid of other people.
• It never occurs to him that he should contribute something to any social situation.
• Regardless of your feelings, force yourself to mix and mingle with other people
• It is an old psychological axiom that constant exposure to the object of fear immunizes against the fear

Page 140

• The greatest mistake a man can make is to be afraid of making one
• The fallacious premise that if no decision is made, nothing can go wrong
• Realize that it is not required that a man be 100 per cent right at all times

Page 141

• Many people are indecisive because they fear loss of self-esteem if they are proved wrong. Use self-esteem for yourself, instead of against yourself, by convincing yourself of this truth: Big men and big personalities make mistakes and admit them. It is the little man who is afraid to admit he has been wrong. “No man ever became great or good except through many and great mistakes,” said Gladstone

Page 142

• Resentment – Resentment is an attempt to make our own failure palatable by explaining it in terms of unfair treatment, injustice.
• Resentment is an emotional rehashing, or re-fighting of some event in the past. You cannot win, because you are attempting to do the impossible—change the past.

Page 143

• Resentment, even when based upon real injustices and wrongs, is not the way to win.
• Habitual resentment invariably leads to self-pity, which is the worst possible emotional habit anyone can develop
• Remember that your resentment is not caused by other persons, events, or circumstances. It is caused by your own emotional response—your own reaction
• You set your goals. No one owes you anything. You go out after your own goals. You become responsible for your own success, and happiness

Page 144

• Emptiness – Along the way, they lost the capacity to enjoy
• A person who has the capacity to enjoy still alive within him finds enjoyment in many ordinary and simple things in life

Page 145

• Emptiness is a symptom that you are not living creatively
• It is the person who has no goal worth working for who concludes, “Life is not worthwhile.”
• The individual who is actively engaged in a struggle, or in striving toward an important goal, does not come up with pessimistic philosophies concerning the meaninglessness or the futility of life

Page 147

• Striving for goals which are important to you, not as status symbols, but because they are consistent with your own deep inner wants, is healthful. Striving for real success—for your success— through creative accomplishment, brings a deep inner satisfaction. Striving for a phony success to please others brings a phony satisfaction

Page 149

• We are very apt to become hardened of heart, callous toward the world, and to withdraw within a protective shell.

Page 151

• The real curative agent was the removal of the emotional scars, the security against social “cuts,” the healing of emotional hurts and injuries, and the restoration of his self-image as an acceptable member of society, which—in his case— surgery made possible
• To guard against future injury from that source they form a spiritual callus, an emotional scar to protect their ego
• Excessive protection against the original source of injury can make us more vulnerable, and do us even more damage in other areas

Page 152

• 1. They see themselves as liked, wanted, acceptable and able individuals.
• 2. They have a high degree of acceptance of themselves as they are.
• 3. They have a feeling of oneness with others.
• 4. They have a rich store of information and knowledge

Page 153

• Be too big to feel threatened, it is a well-known psychologic fact that the people who become offended the easiest, have the lowest self-esteem.

Page 154

• A big strong man does not feel threatened by a small danger; a little man does. In the same way a healthy strong ego, with plenty of self-esteem, does not feel itself threatened by every innocent remark.

Page 155

• Self-esteem is as necessary to the spirit as food is to the body. When a person has adequate self-esteem little slights offer no threat at all—they are simply “passed over” and ignored.
• A Self-Reliant, Responsible Attitude Makes You Less Vulnerable – The person with the hard, gruff exterior, usually develops it because instinctively he realizes that he is so soft inside that he needs protection
• Every human being wants and needs love and affection. But the creative, self-reliant person also feels a need to give love

Page 156

• Try giving affection, love, approval, acceptance, understanding, to other people, and you will find them coming back to you as a sort of reflex action.
• Relax Away Emotional Hurts – If there is no tension present, there is no disfiguring emotional scar left

Page 157

• This simple, everyday experience illustrates very well the principle that we are injured and hurt emotionally— not so much by other people or what they say or don’t say—but by our own attitude and our own response.
• “No man is hurt but by himself,” said Diogenes
• Nothing can work me damage except myself,” said St. Bernard. “The harm that I sustain I carry about with me, and am never a real sufferer but by my own fault.”

Page 159

• Old emotional scars cannot be doctored or medicated. They must be “cut out,” given up entirely, eradicated.

Page 160

• “I can forgive, but I cannot forget,’ is only another way of saying ‘I will not forgive” said Henry Ward Beecher. “Forgiveness ought to be like a cancelled note torn in two, and burned up, so that it never can be shown against one.” Forgiveness, when it is real and genuine and complete, and forgotten—is the scalpel which can remove the pus from old emotional wounds, heal them, and eliminate scar tissue.

Page 161

• First, the “wrong”—and particularly our own feeling of condemnation of it—must be seen as an undesirable thing rather than a desirable thing.

Page 162

• True forgiveness comes only when we are able to see, and emotionally accept, that there is and was nothing for us to forgive. We should not have condemned or hated the other person in the first place.

Page 163

• You cannot forgive a person unless you have first condemned him. Jesus never condemned the woman in the first place—so there was nothing for him to forgive. He recognized her sin, or her mistake, but did not feel called upon to hate her for it. He was able to see, before the fact, what you and I must see after the fact in practicing forgiveness: that we ourselves err when we hate a person because of his mistakes, or when we condemn him, or classify him as a certain type of person, confusing his person with his behaviour; or when we mentally incur a debt that the other person must “pay” before being restored to our good graces, and our emotional acceptance

Page 164

• We beat ourselves over the head with self-condemnation, remorse and regret. We beat ourselves down with self-doubt. We cut ourselves up with excessive guilt. Remorse and regret are attempts to emotionally live in the past

Page 165

• It was essential, he said, that the patient learn to stop blaming himself, condemning himself, and feeling remorseful over his habits—if he were to cure them. He found particularly damaging the conclusion “I am ruined,” or “I am worthless,” because the patient had done, or was doing, certain acts. So remember “You” make mistakes. Mistakes don’t make “You”—anything.

Page 168

• Personality is released from within
• The real self within every person is attractive
• The person with poor personality does not express the creative self within

Page 170

• The purpose of negative feedback, however, is to modify response, and change the course of forward action not to stop it altogether. However, if the mechanism is too sensitive to negative feedback, the servo-mechanism overcorrects.
• Negative feedback always says in effect, “Stop what you’re doing, or the way you’re doing it—and do something else.”

Page 172

• However, if negative feedback is to be effective in helping us to talk better, it should (1) be more or less automatic or subconscious, (2) it should occur spontaneously, or while we’re talking and (3) response to feedback should not be so sensitive as to result in inhibition

Page 177

• The way to make a good impression on other people is: Never consciously “try” to make a good impression on them. Never act or fail to act purely for consciously contrived effect. Never “wonder” consciously what the other person is thinking of you, how he is judging you.

Page 178

• This attitude of being immune to strangers or strange situations, this total disregard for all the unknown or unexpected has a name. It is called poise. Poise is the deliberate shunting aside of all fears arising from new and uncontrollable circumstances

Page 182

• You need to practice being less careful, less concerned, less conscientious.

Page 184

• Our goal is an adequate, self-fulfilling, creative personality. The path to the goal is a course between too much inhibition and too little. When there is too much, we correct course by ignoring inhibition and practicing more disinhibition
• If you are shy around strangers; if you dread new and strange situations; if you feel inadequate, worry a lot, are anxious, overly-concerned; if you are nervous, and feel self-conscious; if you have any “nervous symptoms” such as facial tics, blinking your eyes unnecessarily, tremor, difficulty in going to sleep; if you feel ill at ease in social situations; if you hold yourself back and continually take a back seat—then, these are all symptoms showing that you have too much inhibition—you are too careful in everything, you “plan” too much. You need to practice St. Paul’s advice to the Ephesians: “Be careful in nothing”

Page 185

• Jesus advises us to give no thought as to what we would say if delivered up to councils, but that the spirit would advise us what to say at the -time.
• Don’t plan (take no thought for tomorrow). Don’t think before you act. Act—and correct your actions as you go along. This advice may seem radical, yet it is actually the way all servo-mechanisms must work
• Stop criticising yourself
• Make a habit of speaking louder than usual. Inhibited people are notoriously soft-spoken
• Let people know when you like them. The inhibited personality is as afraid of expressing “good” feelings as bad ones

Page 188

• In much the same way that you automatically obey or respond to the ring of the telephone, we all become conditioned to respond in a certain way to various stimuli in our environment.

Page 190

• The telephone is ringing, but I do not have to answer it. I can just let it ring

Page 191

• Delaying the response breaks up and interferes with the automatic workings of conditioning.

Page 192

• Protect yourself from disturbing stimuli by maintaining the relaxed attitude.
• For nowhere, either with more quiet or more freedom from trouble, does a man retire than into his own soul, particularly when he has within him such thoughts that by looking into them he is immediately in perfect tranquillity; and I affirm that tranquillity is nothing else than the good ordering of the mind. Constantly then give to thyself this retreat, and renew thyself. – Meditations of Marcus Aurelius

Page 193

• Each of us needs a quiet room inside his own mind. This quiet room within, which is built in imagination, works as a mental and emotional decompression chamber.

Page 194

• Whenever you begin to feel tension mounting, or to feel hurried or harried, retire into your quiet room for a few moments.

Page 196

• This exercise of retiring for a few moments into your quiet room in your mind can accomplish the same sort of “clearance” of your success mechanism, and for that reason, it is very helpful to practice it in between tasks, situations, environments, which require different moods, mental adjustments, or “mental sets.”

Page 198

• The key to the matter of whether you are disturbed or tranquil, fearful or composed, is not the external stimulus, whatever it may be, but your own response and reaction.

Page 199

• Be like the promontory against which the waves continually break, but it stands firm and tames the fury of the water around it. Marcus Aurelius

Page 201

• You must keep your eye on the ball. Then, your response will be appropriate—and you will have no time to notice or respond to a fictitious environment.

Page 208

• The moral is obvious for either mice or men: Practice without pressure and you will learn more efficiently and be able to perform better in a crisis situation.

Page 214

• The word crisis comes from a Greek word which means, literally, decisiveness, or point of decision. I always think about what I am going to do, and what I want to happen

Page 216

• How wonderful is the way in which, with quite ordinary folk, power leaps to our aid in any time of emergency
• Common experience teaches that, when great demands are made upon us, if only we fearlessly accept the challenge and confidently expend our strength, every danger or difficulty brings its own strength —’As thy days so shall thy strength be.’ “The secret lies in the attitude of “fearlessly accepting the challenge,” and “confidently expending our strength.”

Page 223

• The possibility of the goal must be seen so clearly that it becomes “real” to your brain and nervous system. So real, in fact, that the same feelings are evoked as would be present if the goal were already achieved.

Page 227

• Henry J. Kaiser has said, “When a tough, challenging job is to be done, I look for a person who possesses an enthusiasm and optimism for life, who makes a zestful confident attack on his daily problems, one who shows courage and imagination, who pins down his buoyant spirit with careful planning and hard work, but says, ‘This may be tough, but it can be licked.'”

Page 232

• The principle is merely to start with an “opponent” over which you can succeed, and gradually take on more and more difficult tasks
• Pavlov, on his death-bed, was asked to give one last bit of advice to his students on how to succeed. His answer was, “Passion and gradualness.”

Page 239

• Jesus warned us about sweeping the mind clean of one demon, only to have seven new ones move in, if we left the house empty. He also advised us not to resist evil, but to overcome evil with good

Page 242

• Our present thinking, our present mental habits, our attitudes toward past experiences, and our attitudes toward the future—all have an influence upon old recorded engrams. The old can be changed, modified, replaced, by our present-thinking.

Page 260

• When we decide to curtail mental and social activities, we stultify ourselves. We become “set” in our ways, bored, and give up our “great expectations.”

Page 261

• I believe that we establish this need by looking forward to the future with joy and anticipation, when we expect to enjoy tomorrow, and above all, when we have something important (to us) to do and somewhere to go.

Page 262

• We age, not by years, but by events and our emotional reactions to them

Page 263

• Faith, courage, interest, optimism, looking forward, bring us new life and more life. Futility, pessimism, frustration, living in the past, are not only characteristic of “old age”; they contribute to it.

Page 267

• Everyone’s real goal, as I said in the beginning, is for more life—more living. Whatever your definition of happiness may be, you will experience happiness only as you experience more life. More living means among other things more accomplishment, the attainment of worthwhile goals, more love experienced and given, more health and enjoyment, more happiness for both yourself and others.
• I believe that there is ONE LIFE, one ultimate source, but that this ONE LIFE has many channels of expression and manifests itself in many forms. If we are to “Get More Living out of Life,” we should not limit the channels through which Life may come to us. We must accept it, whether it comes in the form of science, religion, psychology, or what not.
• God has offered us forgiveness and the peace of mind and happiness that come from self-acceptance. It is an insult to our Creator to turn our backs upon these gifts or to say that his creation—man— is so “unclean” that he is not worthy, or important or capable
• You cannot believe yourself the image of God, deeply and sincerely, with full conviction, and not receive a new source of strength and power

Final Thoughts

I read allot of self help in my younger years and allot of it is rehash. If there was one self help book that I would recommend it would be this and the 7 habits. The message in psychocybernetics is very pure. It doesn’t involve changing yourself but rather embracing yourself. It doesn’t promise you a thing but advises you try your best and keep going. It doesn’t give you 10 tips to be more liked but to be yourself and accept who and what you are. Think highly of yourself, do good things and live life one moment at a time and leave the results in Gods hands.

Synopsis – Pimp is book about a man’s life, this man happened to be a pimp and he tells us how he climbed the ladder of success and how he fell down that same ladder. The book is also a time piece, its an window to a world that no longer exists but wasn’t so long ago.

Key Takeaways

Page 53 – He would say, “Always remember whether you be sucker or hustler in the world out there, you’ve got that vital edge if you can iron-clad your feelings. I picture the human mind as a movie screen. If you’re a dopey sucker, you’ll just sit and watch all kinds of mindwrecking, damn fool movies on that screen.” He said. “Son, there is no reason except a stupid one for anybody to project on that screen anything that will worry him or dull that vital edge. After all, we are the absolute bosses of that whole theatre and show in our minds. We even write the script. So always write positive, dynamic scripts and show only the best movies for you on that screen whether you are pimp or priest.”

In jail this man learnt the power of positive thinking. If it true there it is true anywhere.

Page 58 – Those pimps back in the joint sure knew basic whorology. I was glad my ears had flapped to all those rundowns. They had said, “Chase a whore, you get a chump’s weak cop. Stalk a whore, you get a pimp’s strong cop.” My turn down of her measly first offer had her jumpy.

Treat them mean keep them keen

Page 60 – What had the pimps in the joint said: “You gotta back up from them fabulous pussys. You gotta make like you don’t have a swipe. You gotta keep your mind on the scratch.” “Stay cold and brutal. Cop your scratch first. Don’t let ’em Georgia you. They’ll laugh at you. They’ll cut you loose like a trick after they’ve flimflammed you. Your scratch cop is the only way to put a hook in their stinking asses.”

If you give in to their sexual advances you will not be able to keep control of them

Page 88 – The pimp’s in the joint had said, “There ain’t nothing more important than what makes a new bitch tick and why. You gotta scrape her brain. Find out whether the first joker who layed her was her father or who. Make her tell you her life story. “If she can remember back in her mammy’s ass, good! Fit all the pieces together. Maybe then you’ll know if she’s a two-day package or a two-year package. Don’t try to play ’em in the dark. Quiz ’em into a crack up if you have to. Wake ’em up from a dead sleep. Check the answers you got with what you get.”

Know the people that you work with it will help motivate them

Page 130 – He said, “There you go, fool. A young chump is just like a dumb bitch. He can’t figure nothing out himself. He’s gotta have a rundown on everything. Of course I drove those whores crazy, but for a sane reason, sucker. “A pimp cops a whore. He cons her maybe if she stays in his corner humping his pockets fat, at the end of the rainbow she’s got a husband and a soft easy chair. To hold her beak to the grindstone, he pumps air castles into her skull. “She takes all the stable grief. She humps her ass into a cramp to outshine the other whores in the family. At first, it’s easy for the bitch to star. As she gets older and uglier her competition gets younger and prettier. “She don’t have to be no brain to wake up there ain’t no easy chair at the end. She gets hip there ain’t never even been a rainbow. She gets larceny in her heart. She bullshits herself that if she can drive all those young pretty whores away from the pimp that rainbow might come true after all. If it don’t, she’ll get her revenge anyway. “It’s a violation of the pimp book to quit a whore. A bitch like that is a ticking bomb. Every day, her value to the pimp drops to the zero line. She’s old, tired, and dangerous. She can rattle a pimp into goofing his whole game. If the pimp is a sucker he’ll try to drive her away with his foot in her ass. She’s almost a cinch to croak him or cross him into the joint. “I’m a genius. I’m hip that after a bitch has had maybe ten-thousand tricks drill her she ain’t too steady, skullwise. I don’t tip her I’m salty and disgusted. I talk like a sweet head-shrinker to her. I pump her full of H. “Her skull starts to jelly. I’ll be worried as hell about her. I’ll start sneaking  slugs of morphine or chloral hydrate into her shots. While she’s out, I’ll maybe douse her with chicken blood. She comes to, I’ll tell her I brought her in from the street. I tell her I hope you didn’t croak anybody while you were sleepwalking. “I got a thousand ways to drive ’em goofy. That last broad I flipped, I hung her out a fifth floor window. I had given her a jolt of pure cocaine so she’d wake up outside that window. I was holding her by both wrists. Her feet were dangling in the air. She opened her eyes. When she looked down she screamed like a scared baby. She was screaming when they came to get her. You see, kid, I’m all business. I ain’t got an ounce of hate in me.”

This highlights the cruelty of the game, rather then risk one of his ex employees grievances he would rather drive them insane, literally.

Page 134 – Sweet said, “Top, this punk ain’t hopeless. He’s silly as a bitch grinning all the time, but dig how he butters out the con to keep his balls outta the fire. He sure ain’t got no tender dick to turn down my pretty big-ass Mimi. Kid, I love black boys with the urge to pimp. Ain’t no surer way to amount to something. Your uncle ain’t but a good pimp. I’m the greatest in the world. He wired me he’s hoping you’ll fold on this track and split back to the sticks. “You got one whore he tells me. You could have the makings. This joint is going to be crawling with fast whores in a coupla hours. I’m gonna be pinning you. I’m gonna watch how you handle yourself. Maybe I’m gonna make you my protege. You gotta be icy; understand, Kid, icy, icy? You gotta stop that grinning. Freeze your map and keep it that way. Maybe I’m gonna prove to your half-ass pimp uncle that I can train even a mule to win the Kentucky Derby.”

Icy – control your emotions

Page 141 – He shouted, “Listen you stupid little motherfucker. You know why that bitch screwed you around? You always grinning like a Cheshire Cat. What’s funny? Can’t I get the sucker outta you? I can’t make a pimp outta a pussy like you. “I told you once, do I have to tell you a thousand times? Greenass Nigger, to be a good pimp, you gotta be icy, cold like the inside of a dead-whore’s pussy. Now if you a bitch, a sissy, or something let me know. I’ll put you in drag and you can whore for me. Stay outta my face Nigger, until you freeze up and stop that sucker grinning.”

If you show weakness on the street, someone will take advantage of you

Page 166 – “Now that young bitch you got is gone lazy. She’s stuffing on you. That bitch ain’t sick. I ain’t never seen a bitch under twenty that could get sick. Your whore is bullshitting. A whore’s scratch ain’t never longer than a pimp’s cold game. You gotta have strict rules for a whore. She’s gotta respect you to hump her heart out in the street. “One whore ain’t got but one pussy and one jib. You got to get what there is in her fast as you can. You gotta get sixteen hours a day outta her. There ain’t no guarantee you going to keep any bitch for long. The name of the pimp game is ‘Cop and Blow.’

Sweat your assets

Page 167 – “I’m gonna lay some pills on you. Give her a couple when you get her outta that bed. Don’t give her anymore reefer. It makes some whores lazy. Don’t worry, kid, if you do like I say and blow her, I’ll give you a whore. Kid, don’t hold that whore to one block. Tell that whore all the streets go. Turn her loose. It’s the only way to pimp. If she blows, whatta you lost. She stands up, you got a whore and some real scratch. “You go back and put the coat-hanger pressure on her. If it don’t blow her and she stands up for a week, you ought to have half a grand in a week. Take that scratch and drive to one of the whore towns close around. Go to Western Union. Send that scratch back to yourself at your hotel. “That lazy bitch you got will think she’s got competition. Watch the sparks fly from her ass. She’ll try to top that bitch that doesn’t exist. Greenie, you listen to Sweet Jones. You’ll be a helluva pimp. “Never get friendly and confide in your whores. You got twenty whores, don’t forget your thoughts are secret. A good pimp is always really alone. You gotta always be a puzzle, a mystery to them. That’s how you hold a whore. Don’t get sour. Tell them something new and confusing every day. You can hold ’em as long as you can do it.

Again the physical cruelty as a motivator

Page 184 -He said, “Slim, a pretty Nigger bitch and a white whore are just alike. They both will get in a stable to wreck it. They’ll leave the pimp on his ass with no whore. You gotta make ’em hump hard and fast. Stick ’em for long scratch quick. Slim, pimping ain’t no game of love. Prat ’em and keep your swipe outta ’em. Any sucker who believes a whore loves him shouldn’t a fell outta his mammy’s ass. “Slim, I hope you ain’t sexed that pretty bitch yet. Believe me, Slim, a pimp is really a whore who’s reversed the game on whores. Slim, be as sweet as the scratch. Don’t be no sweeter. Always stick a whore for a bundle before you sex her. A whore ain’t nothing but a trick to a pimp. Don’t let ’em Georgia you. Always get your money in front just like a whore. “Whores in a stable are like working chumps in the white man’s factory. They know in their sucker tickers they’re chumping. They both gotta have horns to blow their beefs into. They gotta have someone to listen while they bad mouth that Goddamn boss. “A good pimp is like a slick white boss. He don’t ever pair two of a kind for long. He don’t ever pair two new bitches. He ain’t stuck ’em for no long scratch. A pair of new bitches got too much in common. They’ll beef to each other and pool their skull, plots, and split to the wind together. “The real glue that holds any bitch to a pimp is the long scratch she’s hip she’s stuck for. A good pimp could cut his swipe off and still pimp his ass off. Pimping ain’t no sex game. It’s a skull game. “A pimp with a shaky-bottom woman is like a sucker with a lit firecracker stuck in his ass. When his boss bitch turns sour and blows, all the other bitches in the stable flee to the wind behind her. “There ain’t more than three or four good bottom women promised a pimp in his lifetime. I don’t care if he cops three hundred whores before he croaks. “A good pimp has gotta have like a farm system for bottom women. He’s gotta know what bitch in the family could be the bottom bitch when mama bitch goes sour. “He’s gotta keep his game tighter on his bottom bitch than on any bitch in the stable. He’s gotta peep around her ass while she’s taking a crap. He’s gotta know if it’s got the same stink and color it had yesterday. “Slim, you’re in trouble until you cop the fourth whore. A stable is sets of teams playing against each other to stuff the pimp’s pockets with scratch. You got a odd bitch. You ain’t got but a team and a hall. “A young pimp like you is gotta learn not to cop blind. Your fourth bitch is gotta be right to pair with the third whore. “She can’t be no ugly bitch unless she likes pussy. She can’t be smarter than the pretty bitch. She can be younger, even prettier, but she’s gotta be dumber. “Slim, all whores have one thing in common just like the chumps humping for the white boss. It thrills ’em when the pimp makes mistakes. They watch and wait for his downfall. “A pimp is the loneliest bastard on Earth. He’s gotta know his whores. He can’t let them know him. He’s gotta be God all the way. “The poor sonuvabitch has joined a hate club he can’t quit. He can’t do a turn around and be a whore himself in the white boss’s stable unless he was never a pimp in the first place. “So, Kid, rest and dress and pimp till you croak. I ain’t had no rest in a coupla days. I think I’ll try to get some doss. Kid, these skull aches are getting bad. Good luck, Kid. Call me tomorrow, late. “Oh yeah, happy birthday, Kid. That rundown was a birthday present.”

There is so much here, teams must have complimentary skills, competition makes people work harder, your 2IC is very important and know your people

Page 191 – He said, “You know a whore ain’t nothing but a ex-square. A good pimp wears out a lot of whores in his lifetime. If there ain’t no big pool of squares for the pimps to turn out, then stables gotta get smaller. “The defense plants are gonna claim thousands of young potential whores. Those square bitches are gonna get those pay checks. They’ll get shitty independent. A pimp can’t turn them out. “The older square broads are going into the plants too. Thousands of them got teenage daughters. They’ll have the scratch to fill the bellies of those young bitches. They’ll put nice clothes on their backs. Why the hell should they whore for a pimp. They can pimp on Mama.

If there is ever an argument that employment opportunities keep people out of trouble this is it.

Page 239 – Control is easier and tighter away from the familiar setting. A girl in strange surroundings depends more on her man. She needs his advice and guidance more. Girls copped in smaller towns have to be moved fast

Again its about control and influence, unfamiliar settings they will lean on you more

Page 245 – I stopped at a leather-goods shop and bought a small valise. It was about the size that a doctor carries. I stopped at several banks and cracked some of my big bills into enough singles to fill the bag. I went to Mama’s to prepare the flash. I filled it almost to the brim with singles. I put the remaining big bills on top. I was getting ready to ship my stable. With my plan I could ship  them without a strong fix. Even new whores think twice before leaving a rich pimp.

Appearances mean everything

Page 264 – I wondered whether I should ask the screw about it. One thing for sure, dream or not, I didn’t want to go nuts. My mind hooked on to what I’d heard the old con philosopher say about that screen in the skull. I remembered what the books at federal prison said about voices and even people that only existed inside a joker’s skull. I thought, “After this when I get the first sign of a sneaky worry, thought or idea, I’ll fight it out of my skull.” Maybe I wasn’t dreaming when I heard that voice. If I hear it again I’ll have some protection. I’ll keep a strong sane voice inside to fight off anything screwy from going on. Every moment I’ll stand guard over my thoughts until I get out of here. I can do it. I just have to train that guard. He’s got to be slick enough not to let trouble by him. I’ll make him shout down the phony voices. He’ll know they’re not real right away.

Keep that theatre in our mind playing positive and strong messages.

Final Thoughts – This is a great book and like all great books its about many things. Its about psychology, leadership, poverty, history and it’s a good story. One thing I couldn’t find a quote on was how trauma leads to trauma. Iceberg was traumatised as a child and as and he then caused trauma, same with allot of his female employees. 9/10

Synopsis – A man writes letters to his friends and discusses his thoughts on a number of topics including but not limited to death, wealth, failure, friendship, reputation and philosophy.

Letter 2

• You ask what is the proper limits to a person’s wealth? First, having what is essential, and second, having what is enough

This is a hard one, deep. There are two types of wealth, be settled with what you have.

Letter 3

• Think for a long time whether you should admit a given person to your friendship. But when you have decided to do so, welcome him heart and soul and speak as unreservedly with him as you would with yourself
• Trusting everyone is as much a fault as trusting no one

Treat your friends with all the love and graciousness you can but choose your friends carefully.

Letter 5

• Inwardly everything should be different but our outward face should conform with the crowd
• Let our aim be a way of life not diametrically opposed to, but better than that of the mob.
• Philosophy calls for simple living, not for doing penance and simple way of life need not be a crude one

Don’t go too far in show in how different you are, if fasting and at a dinner then eat, fast another time.

Letter 6

• Personal converse, though, and daily intimacy with someone will be of more benefit to you than any discourse
• What progress have I made? I am beginning to be my own friend. That is progress indeed. Such a person will never be alone, and you may be sure he is a friend of all

Talk with people rather than just write and if you can be a friend to yourself, you will be a friend to everyone

Letter 7

• A single example of extravagance or greed does a lot of harm – an intimate who leads a pampered life gradually makes one soft and flabby; a wealthy neighbour provokes craving in one; a companion with a malicious nature tends to rub off some of his rust even on someone of an innocent and open hearted nature – what then do you imagine the effect on a persons character is when the assault comes from the world at large?
• I am writing this he say not for the eyes of the many, but for yours alone: for each of us is audience enough for the other. Lay these up in your heart, my dear Lucilius, that you may scorn the pleasure that comes from the majority’s approval

The things you see or the people you hang around with will rub off on you and don’t do things for the pleasure of the crowd but rather for your own enjoyment

Letter 8

• Avoid, I cry, whatever is approved of by the mob and things that are the gift of chance.
• If you pray a thing may, and it does come your way, Tis a long way from being your own

What is given to you by fortune is not your own as it can be taken by fortune

Letter 9

• Not, as Epicurus put it in the same letter, for the purpose of having someone to come and sit beside his bed when he is ill or come to his rescue when he is hard up or thrown into chains, but so that on the contrary he may have someone by whose sickbed he himself may sit or whom he may himself release when that person is held prisoner by hostile hands.
• Self-contented as he is, then, he does need friends – and wants as many of them as possible – but not to enable him to lead a happy life; this he will have even without friends. The supreme ideal does not call for any external aids. It is homegrown, wholly self-developed. Once it starts looking outside itself for any part of itself it is on the way to being dominated by fortune

Be a friend so you can be of service and learn to be happy without friends for even they are not guaranteed

Letter 11

• My letter calls for a conclusion. Here’s one for you, one that will serve you in good stead, too, which I’d like you to take to heart. We need to set our affections on some good man and keep him constantly before our eyes, so that we may live as if he were watching us and do everything as if he saw what we were doing.

How would you behave if someone you admired is always watching you?

Letter 12

• It’s not very pleasant, though, you may say, to have death right before one’s eyes. To this I would say, firstly, that death ought to be right there before the eyes of a young man just as much as an old one – the order in which we each receive our summons is not determined by our precedence in the register – and, secondly, that no one is so very old that it would be quite unnatural for him to hope for one more day.
• I have lived; I have completed now the course That fortune long ago allotted me.

Be okay with dying it’s a natural part of our life

Letter 26

• Count your years and you’ll be ashamed to be wanting and working for exactly the same things as you wanted when you were a boy. Of this one thing make sure against your dying day – that your faults die before you do.
• Look around for some enduring good instead. And nothing answers this description except what the spirit discovers for itself within itself.

Do not die with the wants of a boy but rather do want your spirit calls you to do before death.

Letter 28

• As it is, instead of travelling you are rambling and drifting, exchanging one place for another when the thing you are looking for, the good life, is available everywhere.

Live your best life where you are right now.

Letter 38

• Philosophy is good advice, and no one gives advice at the top of his voice. Such harangues, if I may call them that, may need to be resorted to now and then where a person in a state of indecision is needing a push.

Learn to advise with the right tone of voice, softly.

Letter 40

• The upshot, then, of what I have to say is this: I am telling you to be a slow speaking person

This one is personal, is my talking fast a result of my own insecurities?

Letter 41

• There resides within us a divine spirit, which guards us and watches us in the evil and the good we do. As we treat him, so will he treat us.

Respect the divine spirit when it speaks to you listen and ACT

Letter 47

• He’s a slave. But he may have the spirit of a free man. He’s a slave. But is that really to count against him? Show me a man who isn’t a slave; one is a slave to sex, another to money, another to ambition; all are slaves to hope or fear.

Everyone is a slave, do not judge others for their shortcomings

Letter 55

• The person who has run away from the world and his fellow-men, whose exile is due to the unsuccessful outcome of his own desires, who is unable to endure the sight of others more fortunate, who has taken to some place of hiding in his alarm like a timid, inert animal, he is not “living for himself”, but for his belly and his sleep and his passions – in utter degradation, in other words.

Show yourself after failure the same way you would show yourself after success

Letter 56

• You may be sure that it is when they abate and give every appearance of being cured that they are at their most dangerous

The devil will come for you when you are at your strongest

Letter 77

•  Surely you can adopt the spirited attitude of that boy and say, No slave am I! At present, you unhappy creature, slave you are, slave to your fellow-men, slave to circumstance and slave to life (for life itself is slavery if the courage to die be absent).

You can always to end it if slavery is not for you

Letter 78

•  As Posidonius said, “In a single day there lies open to men of learning more than there ever does to the unenlightened in the longest of lifetimes. In the meantime cling tooth and nail to the following rule: not to give in to adversity, never to trust prosperity, and always take full note of fortune’s habit of behaving just as she pleases, treating her as if she were actually going to do everything it is in her power to do”

The world is more open and beautiful to those who take the time to understand it and never forget the role of fortune, positive or negative.

Letter 83

•  For what is to be gained if something is concealed from man when nothing is barred from God?

This speaks to honesty and being genuine, do not lie and deceive.

Letter 94

• For the only safe harbour in this life tossing, troubled sea is to refuse to be bothered about what the future will bring and to stand ready and confident, squaring the breast to take without skulking or flinching whatever fortune hurls at us.

No whinging, moaning, or complaining

Letter 108

• Let us speak and live like that. Let fate find us ready and eager. Here is your noble spirit – the one which has put itself in the hands of fate; on the other side we have the puny degenerate spirit which struggles, and which sees nothing right in the way the universe is ordered, and would rather reform the gods than reform itself.
• Things tend, in fact, to go wrong; part of the blame lies on the teachers of philosophy, who today teach us how to argue instead of how to live, part on their students, who come to the teachers in the first place with a view to developing not their character but their intellect. The result has been the transformation of philosophy, the study of wisdom, into philology, the study of words.
• “We need to bestir ourselves; life will leave us behind unless we make haste; the days are fleeting by, carried away at a gallop, carrying us with them; we fail to realize the pace at which we are being swept along; here we are making comprehensive plans for the future and generally behaving as if we had all the leisure in the world when there are precipices all around us.”

Focus on developing your character, do hard things that make you better and remember time is slipping by, anything you want to do you must do it now, as soon as possible, make it happen.

Letter 123

• With all such people you should avoid associating. These are the people who pass on vices, transmitting them from one character to another. One used to think that the type of person who spreads tales was as bad as any: but there are persons who spread vices. And association with them does a lot of damage. For even if its success is not immediate, it leaves a seed in the mind, and even after we’ve said goodbye to them, the evil follows us, to rear its head at some time or other in the future.
• There’s only one way to be happy and that’s to make the most of life. Eating, drinking, spending the money that’s been left to you, that’s what I call living – and that’s what I call not forgetting that you’ve got to die someday, too. The days are slipping by, and life is running out on us, never to be restored. Why should we hesitate? What’s the point of being wise? Our years won’t always allow us a life of pleasure, and in the meantime while they’re capable of it and clamouring for it, what’s the point of thrusting austerity on them? Steal a march on death by disposing here and now of whatever he is going to take away. Look at you – no mistress, no boy to make your mistress jealous. Every day you go out sober. You eat as if you had to submit a daily account book to your father for approval. That’s not living – that’s merely being a part of the life enjoyed by other people. And what madness it is to deny yourself everything and so build up a fortune for your heir, a policy which has the effect of actually turning a friend into an enemy, through the very amount that you’re going to leave him, for the more he’s going to get the more gleeful he’s going to be at your death.

Live your life to the fullest, tomorrow isn’t promised so enjoy it today and give it everything you have.

Final Thoughts

As hard as it is to rise up to Senca’s ideals, you can imagine how much better we would live if we did. Doing our best, not associating with bad people, treating the imposters of glory and failure just the same and listening to our spirit. The quotes from this book should serve as an inspiration to get better each day.

Synopsis – We have certain reactions to things, programmed and built in at a primal level. This book helps shed light on those things and how we can use it to our advantage or how its used against us.

Key Takeaways

Page 5 – Click Whirr

Certain phrases or set ups will create a reaction out of you 

Page 11 – The Contrast principle

Give bad options and then show the good option

Page 17 – By virtue of the reciprocity rule, then, we are obligated to the future of favours, gifts, invitations, and the like.

Think about when someone offers you lunch and you say “no”, you offer lunch on a different date

Page 41 – Rejection and retreat

Ask for something more extreme then ask for what you really want

Page 60 – Asking someone to watch your things when going for a swim will result in a better result

People will be consistent with their expectations

Page 97 – Selecting just the right reason is not an easy task for parents. But the effort should pay off. It is likely to mean the difference between short lived compliance and long-term commitment.

Children will also want to be consistent with expectations set

Page 99 – Car dealers will offer a great trade in value for your car, so you commit to buying. Then you go through all the paperwork and financing to give you a sense of personal commitment. Then they will blame an “admin error” on the trade in value and revert on their offer.

They hook you in with a good offer and then keep you with all the admin and paperwork

Page 128 – Convince and ye shall convince

The things you scream out into the world are the things you will believe

Page 137 – You must not allow bystanders to define your situation as a nonemergency. Use the word “Help” to cry out. “You sir in the blue jacket call an ambulance, help me”

When you need help be specific

Page 142 – We will use the actions of other to decide on proper behaviour for ourselves, especially when we view those others like ourselves

If you want your son to swim, let him spend a day with other kids his age swimming

Page 163 – A quick glance around is all that is needed

Always be careful when following social queues, otherwise Jim Jones

Page 170 – What are the factors that cause one person to like another person? If we knew that answer, we would be long way toward understanding how people such as Joe can so successfully sell cars.

1. Physical Attractiveness
2. Similarity
3. Compliments
4. Contact and Cooperation
5. Conditioning and Association

These are things anyone can do to help improve their chances.

Page 180 – Conjoint efforts toward common goals steadily bridged the rancorous rift between the groups.  Another method is the Jigsaw approach to learning

Get people to work towards a common goal and if the task is complicated get each team to work on a different part of the problem

Page 198 – All things being equal, you root for your own sex, your own culture, your own locality and what you want to prove is that you are better than the other person. Whomever you root for represents you: and he wins; you win

Politicians associate with winners for a reason

Page 218 – In fact, our obedience frequently takes place in a click, whirr fashion, with little or no conscious deliberation. Information from a recognized authority can provide us a valuable shortcut for deciding how to act in a situation

Bosses/manager can short circuit our response mechanism

Page 233 – A waiter recommending a cheaper menu item and then selling you an expensive wine bottle

Win trust and using it to your advantage

Page 257 – With the economic and social improvement they have experienced and come to expect suddenly become less available, they desire them more than ever and often rise up violently to secure them

“I done been to the top, I done sipped the juice, and with that being said, bird crumbs will never do” 

Page 262 – The finding highlights the importance of competition in the pursuit of limited resources. Not only do we want the same item more when it is scarce, we want it most when we are in competition for it. Advertisers often try to exploit this tendency in us.

Scarcity

Final Thoughts

We should know the “click-whirr” responses we have to certain stimuli. They can have a huge impact on our life but more then that we should know how to use these things to our advantage, especially when looking to do the most good we can.

Synopsis – The best thinker when it comes to investing and how to allocate your capital. The below is an amalgamation of his essays.

Key Takeaways

Page 4: In line with Berkshires owner-orientation, most of our directors have a major portion of their net worth invested in the company. We eat our own cooking.

Said another way, skin in the game.

Page 40: When Charlie and I read reports, we have no interest in pictures of personnel, plant or products. Reference to EBITDA make us shudder, does management think the tooth fairy pays for capital expenditure

Focus on what matters and beware of substitutes pretending to be something else.

Page 42: More money, it has been noted, has been stolen with the point of a pen than at a point of a gun

This is referencing to lose accounting rules, revenue recognition and other ways of fudging earnings

Page 44: Finally, relations between the board and the CEO are expected to be congenial. At board meetings, criticism of the CEOs performance is often viewed as the social equivalent of belching. No such inhibitions restrain the office manager from critically evaluating the substandard typist.

 This is an inherent problem of the board and CEO relationship.

Page 54: David Ogilvy: If each of us hires people who are smaller then we are, we shall become a company of dwarfs. But, if each of us hires people who are bigger than we are, we shall become a company of giants

Be with and work with people who can teach you

Page 55: We give each of our managers a simple mission

1. You own 100% of it
2. It is the only asset in the world that you and your family have or will ever have
3. You sell or merge it for a century
4. Do not worry about accounting considerations

Not much else to say the focus on the right things in the right way

Page 59: Returns on investments can be illusory, if every company invests in cost cutting equipment the reduced prices may become the new industry baseline, meaning no real saving for the company

Who gets the benefits? The business? The customers? The suppliers?

Page 73: If you have increased earning by reducing retained earnings, what have you really done.

If your job was to invest capital and you increased returns by increasing invested capital, what have you really done?

Page 75: Only those with overall responsibility should have rewards tied to results and they should be linked to retained earnings

Is the overall performance of the business improving and who really contributes to it

Page 85: Questions to ask the auditors

1. Would the auditor present anything differently?
2. Is the information needed for investors and the board in the reports in plain English?
3.  Is the company following the same procedures they would if the auditor himself were CEO?
4. Were there any actions, accounting or operational that moved revenue/expenses from one period to another?

Again, simple questions that everyone can understand.

Page 112: We want a business that

1. We can understand
2. Has favorable long term prospects
3. Operated by honest and competent people
4. Available at an attractive price

Simple and clear

Page 113: The value of any stock, bond or business today is determined by the cash inflow and outflows – discounted at an appropriate interest rate – that can be expected to occur during the remaining life of the asset

A business is worth what cash it can generate.

Page 114: Leaving the question of price aside: the best business to own is one that over an extended period can employ large amounts of incremental capital at very high rates of return. The worst will do the opposite

Think of a store, will every store you open improve and worsen performance?

Page 114: Stick to businesses you understand and insist on a margin of safety in our purchase price

You don’t know what you don’t know, remember that.

Page 121: Your goal as an investor should simply be to purchase, at a rational price, a part interest in an easily understandable business whose earnings are virtually certain to be materially higher 5, 10 and 20 years from now.

Buy things you understand and that make money

Page 125: Time is the friend of a wonderful business, the enemy of the mediocre

This is the same as the man with good habits or bad habits.

Page 125: Good jockeys will do well on good horses

The car and the driver. Combine both for the best results.

Page 126: Charlie and I have not learned to solve difficult business problems. What we have learned is to avoid them.

Occom’s razor the key to solving problems is not having them.

Page 126: Business Inertia

1. An institution will resist any change in its current direction
2. Just as work expands to fill available time; corp projects or acquisitions will materialize to soak up available funds
3. Any business craving of the leader will be quickly supported by the troops
4. The behavior of peer companies will be mindlessly imitated

Inertia is real the same applies to you and your family.

Page 127: Only go into business with people you trust and admire

Work with people you love and the results will take care of itself

Page 174: Large and persisting current account deficits produce an entirely different result. As time passes, and as claims against us grow, we own less and less of what we produce. In effect, the rest of the world enjoys an ever-growing royalty on the countries input. We are like a family that consistently overspends its income.

Its important own production

Page 180: Forecloses take place because borrowers can’t pay the monthly payment, they agreed to pay

Buy homes you can afford to pay off.

Page 187: Returns decrease as motion increases

Your just paying brokers and other middlemen. Remember Manoj Bhargava, is it a slam dunk? Then don’t worry about it.

Page 191: Not all earnings are equal, especially those that don’t increase with inflation.

Your earnings will deteriorate over time 

Page 192: For every dollar retained by the corporation, at least one dollar of value will be created for owners if the capital retained produces incremental earnings equal to or above available to investors

Think about this when paying dividends. Is worth more inside or outside the company.

Page 196: There are two kinds of expenditures

1. That a company must make to maintain its competitive position
2. Optional outlays aimed a growth or value for every dollar spent

Understand the difference in your life as well, which spend is needed, which will make your life better and which one don’t you need.

Page 211: It pays to be interested and open minded, but it does not pay to be in a hurry.

Say yes to life

Page 227: Deal making beats working. Deal making is fun, working is grubby. That’s why you have deals that don’t make sense.

Therefore people/businesses do things that don’t make sense.  

Page 243: Intrinsic value can be defined simply: It is the discounted value of cash that can be taken out of a business during its remaining life.

A business is worth the cash it generates.

Page 259: Look at assets to profit ratio for comparable businesses. If the assets are less and the profit the same, that’s the better business.

 Keep in mind the type of asset. If its depreciating assets then the less assets the better for the same profit number

Page 260: Depreciation is a real expense

Don’t ignore things that matter.

Final Thoughts

Clear and simple concepts said concisely. What can be better? Do things you understand and put your money into business that make more money then they spend. Don’t do the wrong thing and focus on what matters.

Synopsis

The book describes the life of an inmate in a Gulag. More then that it tells us what the people are like, how they got there and how they live and have human connections.

Key Takeaways

Page 8 – D’you know who are the ones the camps finish off? Those who lick other left-overs, those who set store by the doctors, and those peach on their mates

The fakers don’t last on the inside. The way you hold yourself has an impact, an effects, it ripples.

Page 30 – Work was like a stick. It had two ends. When you worked for the knowing you gave them quality, when you worked for a fool you simply gave him eyewash. Otherwise, everybody would have croaked long ago. They all knew that.

The person who checks the work has a role in the quality of that work, maybe the most important.

Page 40 – In camp the team-leader is everything; a good one will give you a second life, a bad one will put you in your coffin. You can cheat anyone you like in camp, but not your team leader. Then you’ll live.

This is the same as at your job. Leaders have impact and can make all the difference.

Page 68 – He was a newcomer. He was unused to the hard life of the zeks. Though he didn’t know it, moments like this were particularly important to him, for they were transforming him from an eager, confident naval officer with a ringing voice into an inert, though wary, zek. And only in that inertness lay the chance of surviving the twenty-five years of imprisonment he’d been sentenced to.

These same changes take place in us when we take on something new and unknown, it slowly changes us without us even knowing, at least if we want to survive.

Page 77 – That’s what a team leader is. A guard can’t get people to budge even in working hours, but a team leader can tell his men to get on with the job even during the break and they’ll do it. Because he’s the one who feeds them. And he’d never make them work for nothing.

Motivation, how we work to impress our leaders the people we admire the people we know who would put in for us.

Page 88 – You could count on Alyosha. Did whatever was asked of him. If everybody in the world was like that, Shukhov would have done likewise. If a man asks for help why not help him? Those Baptists had got something there.

In service of our follow man are we our most useful and most at peace. Seek service.

Page 127 – People imagine that the parcel a man gets is a sort of nice tight sack he has only slit open and be happy. But if you work it out it’s a matter of easy come, easy go.  

The burden of possesion is even present in the Gulag, envy, fear and stress are created by the parcel.

Final Thoughts

Life is so hard for some people it makes you wonder how they survived. Even in this life people were able to find small joys, a 2nd bowl of oats, abit of warmth, or even a Sunday off. Life is what you make it and even in hell you can find slices of heaven.

This is what I need to take with me.
Accept where I am and who I am and how I am
I may die tomorrow and this may be it
My life may get no better and in some sense may get much worse
When the muse speak listen and act
Schedule in the time and make it happen
That’s something else
I need to stop looking to friends or some person to come and save me
I lean on people too much
Way too much.

Onwards
Forward